Emergency communication network (ECN) can provide fast, efficient and high-capacity communication services for specific areas by using mmWave transmission and unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs) serving as aerial base stations (ABSs) or relay nodes. Now, in order to satisfy diverse demands, ECN should support different types of nodes, access methods, and traffic distributions, which is referred to as heterogeneous ECN (HetECN). Therefore, inappropriate trajectory planning and unbalanced traffic loading can lead to UAV flight collisions and network congestion. In this article, we jointly optimize UAV jamming avoidance trajectory and user association strategy aimed to load balancing, to maximize the utilization of HetECN. Specifically, an improved artificial potential field (APF) method along with mmWave beam forming technology is used to obtain the jamming avoidance trajectory of UAVs, and the optimal deployment location of UAVs are determined based on the distribution of ground users (GUs). Subsequently, the matching game and alliance game are comprehensively used to determine the load balancing based GU-UAV associated strategy under various GU demands, thereby ensuring traffic load balancing and resource optimization allocation. In addition, altitude fine-tuning have been made to further power consumption, thereby improving overall network efficiency. Simulation results demonstrate that the proposed method can achieve the expected performance in network utilities such as coverage rate, network capacity, load balancing effect of mmWave UAV-assisted HetECNs.