Consensual Nonmonogamy Research Articles

Personality and Mating Orientations in Monogamy and Consensual Non-Monogamy in Young Spanish University Students.

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is a non-normative relationship that can generally be defined as relationships in which the involved individuals have openly agreed that they can have other sexual and/or affective partners. Despite growing interest in CNM, little research has been conducted regarding characteristics of the involved individuals, as well as comparing CNM individuals and monogamous individuals' characteristics. Expanding this research is important, as CNM constitutes a sizeable minority group, and CNM individuals and relationships are subject to stigma and dehumanization. The present study compared CNM and monogamous individuals in terms of personality (including "dark" personality) and mating orientations (sociosexuality and long-term mating) in young Spanish university students. Main results indicated that CNM individuals did not differ much in personality nor were they prone to higher "dark" personality traits when compared to monogamous individuals. Regarding mating orientations, CNM individuals were prone to higher sociosexuality levels and lower levels of long-term mating. Interestingly, results showed positive correlations between sociosexuality and "dark" personality in monogamous individuals, but not in CNM individuals. In conclusion, young Spanish university CNM individuals seem to be more pro-sex than monogamous people and less committed to the romantic love narrative of long-term mating, but these individuals were not more untrustworthy, self-centered, ruthless, or malevolent. Results were also discussed regarding their implications in the stigma and dehumanization of CNM people.

Stigma Toward Consensual Non-Monogamy: Thematic Analysis and Minority Stress.

Consensually non-monogamous (CNM) romantic and sexual relationships tend to be stigmatized. The present research examined this stigma across two studies. First, we qualitatively explored the specific ways that people in CNM relationships report experiencing stigma using thematic analysis and identified the following four themes: Expressions of discomfort/disapproval of CNM, Loss of resources/threatening behaviors, Character devaluation, and Relationship devaluation (Study 1; N = 372). Second, we examined the relationship between experienced stigma and psychological well-being for people in CNM relationships, using the framework of minority stress theory. We found that experienced stigma was positively associated with psychological distress and that this association was partially statistically mediated by anticipated stigma and internalized stigma (Study 2; N = 383). Overall, this research strives to achieve a better understanding of the processes and potential consequences of stigma toward CNM relationships and individuals.

Sexual Orientation and Infidelity-Related Behaviors on Social Media Sites

Little research has been focused on offline or online infidelity in GL dating relationships, especially in a post-communist socio-cultural context. Infidelity-related (IR) behaviors on social media sites might be as hurtful to relationships as offline infidelity, both in gay, lesbian (GL) and heterosexual romantic monogamous relationships. In this cross-sectional study, we aimed to examine the associations between dyadic satisfaction, attitudes toward infidelity, and problematic internet usage, with IR behaviors on social media sites among GL and heterosexual unmarried individuals in Romanian sexual minority communities. Results showed that GL respondents did not significantly differ from heterosexual participants regarding IR behaviors. Furthermore, we found the main effect of attitudes toward infidelity and problematic internet use on IR behaviors. Sexual orientation highlights the main effect of IR behaviors when analyzed with dyadic satisfaction. The current study may be a precursor to further research investigating correlations in online IR behavior among lesbian and gay individuals engaging in consensual nonmonogamy. Implications of the findings are discussed in the social context of a post-communist country where GL individuals may face discrimination and stigma because of their sexual orientation.

Many Loves: Preparing Counselors to Work With Polyamorous Clients

Polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy (CNM) represent a limited yet increasingly common approach to intimate relationships. This article opens with definitions and estimated prevalence of CNM. It summarizes recent research on attitudes toward polyamory among both mental health clinicians and the public, including how these attitudes impact polyamorous people. The article includes recommendations for counselors that are grounded in the principles of Relational-Cultural Therapy: increasing knowledge of polyamory, examining personal bias, practicing affirmatively, and avoiding inappropriate focus on clients’ relationship styles. The article concludes with a call for further research and development of competencies for counseling polyamorous clients.

Ownership, Enjoyment, Arousal Troubles, and Robust Education: Pleasure in LGBTQ+ Alt-Sex Members’ Responses to Consent Violations

Background: Alt-sex practitioners are a diverse group with diverse unconventional sexual behaviors including consensual non-monogamy (CNM), kink, fetishism, and bondage/discipline dominance/submission, sadomasochism (BDSM). Perhaps because of their openness to non-normative sexuality, these communities often comprise a large proportion of lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, among others (LGBTQ+) individuals. LGBTQ+ individuals experience higher rates of sexual violence and consent violation than their cisgender, heterosexual peers both inside and outside of formalized alt-sex communities. Pleasure, including but not limited to sexual pleasure, is often a motivator for engaging in sexual and alt-sex activities. This study examines how consent violations influence pleasure among LGBTQ+ alt-sex members. Methods: We conducted an electronic one-time survey of LGBTQ+ alt-sex practitioners (N = 1354). In this study, we analyze open-ended responses for ways pleasure was described in response to questions about consent violations. We use thematic analyses in Dedoose online software. Results: Two subthemes emerged related to the violation itself, (a) pleasure as a motivator for violating consent and (b) pleasure in spite of consent violation. As the second theme that emerged, pleasure was a component of the aftereffects of the violation in two ways: (1) pleasure was reduced or inhibited by consent violations; (2) pleasure was a motivator for healing and advocacy. Conclusions: We discuss practical and research implications based on the complex relationships between violations and pleasure reported by participants.

Personality Predictors of Prejudicial Attitudes, Willingness to Engage, and Actual Engagement in Consensual Non-Monogamy.

Personality variables, including sensation-seeking, interpersonal trust, avoidance of uncertainty, endorsement of social conformity, and love styles (Ludus, Eros, Pragma, Storge, Mania, and Agape), were examined as predictors of prejudicial attitudes toward individuals who practice polyamory and personal interest in engaging in consensual non-monogamy (CNM) among 1831 participants who completed anonymous surveys online. Personality characteristics were also compared between individuals who currently practice CNM (n = 67) and case-matched controls involved in monogamous relationships. As predicted, prejudicial attitudes and willingness to engage in CNM were positively and moderately correlated and there was substantial overlap in the predictors of both variables. However, the strongest predictors differed: prejudicial attitudes were best predicted, in a positive direction, by endorsement of social conformity and, to a lesser extent, Pragma love style, while willingness to engage in CNM was best predicted by the Ludus (positive) and Eros (negative) love styles. Individuals who practice monogamy and CNM were more similar than different: only two of the 12 variables tested significantly differed. CNM individuals are more ludic and more tolerant of cognitive uncertainty. Difficulty interpreting some of the results laid bare the need for relationship measures that are valid for individuals who practice CNM. Improving our understanding of the relation between personality traits and CNM may help us develop better interventions for clients who seek to transition from monogamy to CNM but struggle to adapt to the new challenges as well as design better efforts to increase acceptance and reduce discrimination against those who practice CNM.

Evaluating Structural Therapy from a Consensual Nonmonogamy Lens

Consensually nonmonogamous (CNM) persons are significantly underrepresented in couple therapy research. There are very few models of therapy formatted specifically to work with the unique configurations of CNM. Yet, the systemic underpinnings of the couple and family therapy field are most appropriately aligned with conceptualizing and treating issues within a multi-system configuration such as nonmonogamous relationships. Structural therapy is a timeless theoretical orientation that shows aptitude and flexibility to be adapted for more socially just application. We analyze the strengths and weaknesses of the original model and critique those through a social justice lens. We propose adapted strategies and interventions for working with CNM clients, and for ease of use with an updated approach that is inclusive of alternative relationship configurations.

Which styles of moral reasoning predict apprehension toward consensual non-monogamy?

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) refers to any intimate relationship where partners agree to form multiple, concurrent intimate relationships. Stigma against CNM is well-documented, but its antecedents are unclear. Here, we test how apprehension toward CNM is related to moral reasoning. In Study 1, participants (N = 229) identified reasons why people disapprove of CNM from which we created the CNM Apprehension Scale (CNMapp). In Study 2, participants (N = 726) completed the CNMapp alongside established measures of moral decision-making: the moral foundations questionnaire, the social dominance orientation scale, the zero-sum thinking in romantic relationships scale, the moral approbation scale, and the HEXACO-60. We identified five reasons for CNM apprehension: 1) anticipated relationship conflict, 2) moral belief violation, 3) reputational damage, 4) sexual health risk, and 5) same-sex intimacy. People who scored higher on CNMapp reported more zero-sum thinking about their romantic relationships, stronger purity and antiegalitarian beliefs, lower openness to experience, and greater desire for moral approbation from others. We argue that CNM apprehension can be traced to two primary concerns: unrestricted sociosexuality and risk of interpersonal conflict. We conclude by considering how moral intuitions about CNM may be adaptively mismatched to environments where technology addresses the recurrent adaptive challenges of non-monogamy.

Model of motivations for engaging in polyamorous relationships

Polyamory is a form of consensual non-monogamy (CNM) based on the belief that people can participate in and build multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships with the consent of all involved. This form of CNM relationship is increasingly visible in societies where monogamy is a prevalent norm. Research in the field of polyamory has yielded many findings regarding the multiple relational benefits of polyamory. However, there is a limited number of studies in the literature focusing specifically on why some people find polyamory more appealing than an exclusive, dyadic partner relationship. Therefore, framed within the historical context in which polyamory emerged and the associated stigmatization, this study presents a model of the psychological motivations for considering/engaging in/remaining in a polyamorous relationship in an era when monogamy and the binary nature of intimate and sexual relationships is being deconstructed. The study is based on a secondary theoretical analysis of recent psychological studies on polyamory, discussed in light of the relevant psychological theories of motivation. The result is an 8-component model of diverse potential polyamory motivations, individually or in aggregate. The motivations were organized into eight domains: fulfilment of needs not met in a monogamous relationship; personal growth and autonomy; identity development and polyamory; expression of political values; exploring minority identities (sexual fluidity and bisexuality); need to belong to a community; desire for sexual diversity; and psychodynamic reasons. This study also shows there may be diversified need of psychotherapeutic approaches for polyamorous individuals.

Consensual Non-Monogamy and Relationship Satisfaction

While monogamy is often depicted as the “normal,” ideal relationship model in our society, consensually non-monogamous relationship forms, wherein participants openly and transparently agree to pursue sexual and/or emotional connections with individuals beyond the dyad, are increasing in prevalence. This paper investigates the existing evidence as to whether individuals in these relationships are happier than those engaged in conventional monogamy, analyzing past research and breaking down demographic and social factors that may both enhance and attenuate non-monogamous relationship satisfaction. There is evidence that non-monogamy increases relationship satisfaction for at least some individuals, but there is little compelling evidence that all monogamists would be happier exploring non-monogamy. Given the relatively recent emergence of research in this area, further research would be beneficial.

Attitudes Toward and Willingness to Engage in Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) Among African Americans Who Have Never Engaged in CNM.

Research on consensual non-monogamy (CNM) has largely focused on CNM behavior, while less attention has been given to attitudes toward and willingness to engage in CNM. Additionally, the study of CNM among African Americans is underexplored. Through an online survey study, we examined the correlates of attitudes toward and willingness to engage in CNM among African Americans who have never engaged in CNM, as attitudes and willingness provide insight into future behavior and stigmatization of CNM. We also assessed open-ended responses of reasons given for considering or not considering CNM engagement. A total of 904 African Americans between the ages of 18-40 participated in this study. Regressions were utilized to determine the correlates of attitudes toward and willingness to engage in CNM. Sexual orientation and gender were significant predictors of attitudes toward CNM. Age, sexual orientation, and gender were significant predictors of willingness to engage in CNM. Qualitative analyses revealed three themes among those who have considered engaging in CNM: (1) always been curious or had fantasies about trying a threesome, swinging, or open relationship, (2) thinks it would be fun, provides excitement, and can improve the relationship, and (3) would consider it under the right circumstances. Most participants reported never considering CNM engagement for the following reasons: (1) CNM is inconsistent with religious beliefs, morals, or values, (2) is just not for me, (3) it's the same as cheating, (4) committed to partner, (5) the belief that CNM increases risk of HIV/STIs, and (6) that CNM causes drama.

Supplemental Material for Enacted and Anticipated Stigma Related to Consensual Nonmonogamy Among LGBTQ+ Adults

Supplemental Material for Enacted and Anticipated Stigma Related to Consensual Nonmonogamy Among LGBTQ+ Adults

Drawing the line at infidelity: Negotiating relationship morality in a Swedish context of consensual non-monogamy

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) involves being in a relationship that allows participants multiple concurrent sexual and/or intimate partners. Previous studies exploring attitudes toward different types of extra-dyadic sexual activity (EDSA) has typically distinguished between, on the one hand, polyamory/open relationships/swinging and, on the other, infidelity. The aim of this article is to develop further these discussions by showing how the distinctions between relationship types are drawn and/or blurred in social interactions, and how this requires moral work and negotiations of what ethical polyamory is. The research questions are as follows: 1. How are different CNM relationship types distinguished from each other, as well as intertwined and negotiated in social interactions? 2. How are ideals of consent, honesty, and communication reproduced and renegotiated in CNM relationships? 3. How does moral work become important for responding to negative attitudes toward CNM? The material consists of interviews with 22 persons practicing polyamory, CNM, or relationship anarchy, analyzed using thematic analysis. Results show that CNM relationship types are not clearly distinguishable but rather negotiated in social interactions both within a relationship and with others. Interviewees express that consent, honesty, and communication are central for their relationships, but also that they are negotiated. For example, honesty can be renegotiated by introducing an option of not telling your partner everything. Consent can also be renegotiated with some conditions, such as not actively searching out potential partners. They describe several different types of moral work: negotiating and reformulating others’ moral opinions, reversing moral hierarchies, and taking responsibility to explain and to soothe situations. These results contribute to existing research on attitudes toward CNM practices pointing out the importance of taking social interactions into account in order to explore the full extent of negative attitudes toward people involved in CNM relationships and how they handle these interactions.

“There’s no reason to do monogamy”: Evidence for and Characteristics Associated with a Strong Desire for Consensual Nonmonogamy

IntroductionConsensual nonmonogamy (CNM) is a form of relationship practiced by many despite widespread stigma against it. In this study, we explore evidence of strong, persistent desire for CNM among some individuals, and look for commonalities among these individuals.MethodBetween February 2019 and June 2020, we conducted qualitative, semi-structured interviews with 51 US adults who had practiced CNM for between 3 and 50 years, recruited via community contacts and snowball method. Participants reported a broad diversity of sexual orientations and gender identities; 62.7% reported European/white ancestry. We conducted thematic analysis to examine evidence of strong, persistent desire for CNM and common characteristics and experiences among participants.ResultsWe describe 7 sub-themes that suggest a strong desire for CNM, such as pursuing CNM early in life, experiencing difficulties in attempts at monogamy, and describing one’s desire for CNM as enduring or unchangeable. We then describe 9 characteristics and experiences that were common among participants, such as a preference for autonomy, not experiencing categorical distinctions among relationships, desiring to make life plans with multiple adults, and exposure to communities whose norms do not assume monogamy.ConclusionsOur data indicate a pattern of desires, life choices, and self-perceptions suggesting that some individuals strongly desire and persistently pursue CNM (whereas others appear to be comfortable with both CNM and monogamy).Policy ImplicationsOur results suggest that some individuals consistently desire and pursue CNM relationships, and therefore would benefit from efforts toward destigmatization and reduction of institutional disadvantage against the practice of CNM.

Mental health provider bias and clinical competence in addressing asexuality, consensual non-monogamy, and BDSM: a narrative review

The aim of this narrative review is to integrate the published literature on mental health provider bias against less recognized groups who may be marginalized due to their sexual identities or sexual and relationship practices. These include asexual-identified individuals, individuals who practice consensual non-monogamy (CNM), and those who engage in sexual practices that include bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. We situate these findings regarding provider bias within broader themes emerging from the literature on affirmative mental health care provision for members of these sexually stigmatized groups. We identified the relevant literature by searching PsycINFO, as well as Google Scholar, given the novel topic areas. We summarize and evaluate published articles and then present our analysis of the broader themes, strengths, and limitations that emerged among these three developing literatures. Finally, we discuss implications for future research and clinical practice to aid clinicians who wish to minimize bias against these relatively understudied groups. These recommendations are summarized as follows: avoiding normative assumptions, countering pathologization, and taking responsibility for training.

Minority stress in consensually non-monogamous individuals: mental health implications

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is an area of increasing empirical and clinical interest. Few studies have explored the mental health of CNM individuals. Using the minority stress framework, we sought to address this gap. We analyzed a data set of college students gathered through the Healthy Minds Network. A sample of 91 participants with data fit for analyses were identified as CNM. Random samples of participants in other relationship structures were also selected yielding a total sample of n = 455. Results indicated CNM individuals are significantly more likely to identify as gender/sexual minorities, be significantly younger, and report significantly higher rates of emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual assault, and depression compared to non-CNM individuals. CNM individuals did not differ from non-CNM individuals in terms of sex assigned at birth, race, and financial stress. When controlling for demographics, CNM individuals reported significantly higher depressive symptoms compared to those who were dating and married. Multinomial regression analysis with all significant covariates entered suggested CNM individuals have significantly higher odds of probable depression and history of sexual assault compared to those who were dating and married. We discuss areas for continued research as well as implications for clinicians working with CNM clients.

Non-consensual and Consensual Non-monogamy in Norway

The paper sets out to study Norwegians’ experiences of non-monogamy. Data were collected by questionnaires in a web sample of 4160 Norwegians (18–89 years). 26.3% of men and 17.8% of women reported that they ever had non-consensual non-monogamy. Consensual non-monogamy was reported by 3%. Compared to participants with no or non-consensual experience, consensual non-monogamy was highly related to relationship intimacy and positive sexual attitudes toward sex and sexuality. At the most recent extradyadic event, 21.5% of heterosexual men and 47.1% of gay/bisexual men reported condom use, which implies a risk for sexually transmitted diseases.

Motivations for Engaging in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships.

Sexual, romantic, and intimate relationships provide opportunities for individual and interpersonal fulfillment and the enhancement of well-being. Though research has identified that consensual non-monogamy (CNM) offers unique relational benefits, little work has examined why individuals pursue CNM relationships. Both self-determination theory and self-expansion theory provide frameworks for understanding the range of intra- and interpersonal motives for choosing or negotiating a multipartnered relationship. We explored the reasons for which people engage in CNM and discuss how motivations for CNM might be linked to well-being and need fulfillment. Our study used a qualitative approach to examine the motivations individuals report for engaging in CNM relationships. As part of a larger online survey, participants completed open-ended questions examining motivations for, and experiences of, CNM relationships. Data from participants who indicated that they were currently in a CNM partnership was selected for the analyses (n = 540). Data were analyzed using thematic analysis, within a critical realist framework. Motivations were organized into six interconnected themes: reasons related to autonomy, beliefs and value systems, relationality, sexuality, growth and expansion, and pragmatism. Individuals reported diverse reasons for engaging in CNM relationships; reasons addressed both individual and relational needs and well-being. Findings contrast with stereotypic views of CNM relationships as unstable/unfulfilling or that individuals engage in CNM because of relationship problems. The findings may facilitate therapeutic interventions for counselors working with individuals who are in the process of negotiating or re-negotiating relationship boundaries.

Internalized Consensual Non-Monogamy Negativity and Relationship Quality Among People Engaged in Polyamory, Swinging, and Open Relationships.

Drawing on an internalized homonegativity and minority stress framework, the present study sought to address whether people engaged in consensual non-monogamy (CNM) internalize stigma toward their relationship style, and if internalized CNM negativity is associated with poorer relationship quality and functioning. We recruited a community sample of 339 people engaged in CNM (open, swinging, or polyamorous relationship) with at least two concurrent partners. Participants completed a newly developed measure of internalized CNM negativity (which assessed personal discomfort, social discomfort, and public identification) and four measures of relationship quality for each partner. Regression analyses showed that personal discomfort with CNM (e.g., wanting to change one's relationship style or endorsing CNM as unnatural) was associated with lower satisfaction with romantic and sexual relationship agreements, global relationship satisfaction, and commitment (but not sexual satisfaction) in both concurrent relationships. The other two dimensions of internalized CNM negativity, social discomfort and public identification, were not related to relationship quality with either partner. These findings provide support for the notion that prevailing mononormativity (idealization of monogamy in society) can become applied to the self and negatively impact relationship quality. Understanding the processes in which broader societal stigma toward CNM can become internalized and affect well-being provides a new direction for research at the intersection of public health, psychology, and sexuality.

Exploring Minority Stress and Resilience in a Polyamorous Sample.

Polyamory is a type of consensual non-monogamy (CNM) in which participants engage in multiple simultaneous romantic and often sexual relationships with the knowledge and consent of all involved. CNM practitioners in general, and polyamorous people in specific, appear to be highly stigmatized due to their relational practices, and to experience acts of CNM-related discrimination, harassment, and violence. Conceptualizing this dynamic via minority stress theory predicts that this stigma and discrimination will lead to negative mental health effects for polyamorous individuals. However, recent research has begun to identify possible sources of resilience within polyamorous populations that may ameliorate these negative effects. This study investigated these hypotheses in a sample of 1176 polyamorous American adults utilizing structural equation modeling. Four constructs were assessed as potential resilience factors: mindfulness, cognitive flexibility, a positive CNM identity, and connection to a supportive CNM community. Results indicate that CNM-related minority stress was positively related to increased psychological distress, such as higher self-reported depression and anxiety symptoms. Mindfulness was found to have both direct and moderating effects on the relationship between minority stress and psychological distress, such that higher mindfulness attenuated the negative impact of minority stress. Cognitive flexibility also displayed direct and moderating effects, but in the opposite than predicted direction. Clinical and research implications of these findings are discussed, with an emphasis on expanding understanding of how anti-CNM stigma affects practitioners and improving clinical cultural competence with this unique and under-served population.