Consensual Nonmonogamy Research Articles

Monogamy and Nonmonogamy: Evolutionary Considerations and Treatment Challenges.

Few topics generate such controversy and emotional reactivity as the nature of human mating behavior. Unfortunately, and potentially to the detriment of good patient care, sexual medicine practitioners havelargely avoided this matter. An understanding of the scientific literature can empower practitioners to moreeffectively confront the inevitable monogamy and nonmonogamy challenges present in research and clinicalpractice. To review and summarize relevant scientific literature as a context to evaluate the more common myths and misunderstanding relating to the practice of monogamy and nonmonogamy in humans. This review also is intended to promote a discussion of the ways human mating strategies may impact sexual function and dysfunction for the individual and couple. A review of English written peer-reviewed evolutionary, anthropological, neuropsychiatric, zoological research, and other scholarly texts was conducted. Work published between 2000 and 2016 concentrating on evolutionary theory, long- and short-term mating strategies in primates and most specifically in humans, and consensual nonmonogamy was highlighted. Main outcomes included a brief explanation of evolutionary theory and a review of relevant literature regarding long- and short-term mating behaviors and consensual nonmonogamy. Serial sexual and social monogamy is the norm for humans. Across time and cultures, humans have adapted both long- and short-term mating strategies that are used flexibly, and sometimes simultaneously, based on unique personal, social, and environmental circumstances. Human mating behavior is individualistic, the result of numerous biopsychosocial influences. The clinician cannot assume that an individual presenting as a patient maintains a monogamy-valued view of his or her intimate relationship. Patients may experience conflict between the cultural monogamous ideal and their actual sexual behaviors. This conflict may be critical in understanding a patient's sexual concerns and in treatment planning. Awareness of these issues will aid the practitioner in sexual medicine.

Prevalence of Experiences With Consensual Nonmonogamous Relationships: Findings From Two National Samples of Single Americans

Although academic and popular interest in consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) is increasing, little is known about the prevalence of CNM. Using two separate U.S. Census based quota samples of single adults in the United States (Study 1: n = 3,905; Study 2: n = 4,813), the present studies show that more than one in five (21.9% in Study 1; 21.2% in Study 2) participants report engaging in CNM at some point in their lifetime. This proportion remained constant across age, education level, income, religion, region, political affiliation, and race, but varied with gender and sexual orientation. Specifically, men (compared to women) and people who identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual (compared to those who identify as heterosexual) were more likely to report previous engagement in CNM. These findings suggest that a sizable and diverse proportion of U.S. adults have experienced CNM, highlighting the need to incorporate CNM into theoretical and empirical therapy and family science work.

Monogamy versus Consensual Non-Monogamy: Alternative Approaches to Pursuing a Strategically Pluralistic Mating Strategy.

This study examined the frequency of partner-directed mate retention behaviors and several self- and partner-rated romantic relationship evaluations (i.e., sociosexuality, relationship satisfaction, mate value, and partner ideal measures) within monogamous and consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships. Measures were compared (1) between monogamous and CNM participants and (2) between two concurrent partners within each CNM relationship (i.e., primary and secondary partners). We found that individuals in currently monogamous relationships (n=123) performed more mate retention behaviors compared to those currently in CNM relationships (n=76). Within CNM relationships, participants reported engaging in more mate retention behaviors with primary partners compared to secondary partners. Likewise, CNM participants reported talking about their extra-dyadic sexual experiences and downplaying these sexual experiences more often with their primary partner compared to their secondary partner. There were no significant differences between ratings of monogamous and primary partners in participants' overall relationship satisfaction. However, monogamous participants reported less satisfaction with the amount of communication and openness they had with their partner compared to CNM participants' reports of their primary partner, but not secondary partner. By comparison, CNM participants reported higher overall relationship satisfaction with primary compared to secondary partners and considered their primary partner to be more desirable as a long-term mate than their secondary partner. We interpret these results within the context of previous research on monogamous and CNM relationships and hypothesize that these relationship configurations are alternative strategies for pursuing a strategically pluralistic mating strategy.

Around Consensual Nonmonogamies: Assessing Attitudes Toward Nonexclusive Relationships

Consensual nonmonogamy is a term used to describe intimate romantic relationships that are sexually and/or emotionally nonexclusive. The present study examined the social norms that are violated by different forms of consensual nonmonogamy and the negative judgments that result. We asked 375 participants to rate hypothetical vignettes of people involved in one of five relationship types (monogamy, polyamory, open relationship, swinging, and cheating) on items related to relationship satisfaction, morality, and cognitive abilities. The monogamous couple was perceived most favorably, followed by the polyamorous couple, then the open and swinging couples who were rated equally. Participants judged the cheating couple most negatively. Although social norms of sexual and emotional monogamy are important, we conclude that the aspect that has the most effect on judgments is whether the relationship structure has been agreed to by all parties.

Three’s a crowd: public awareness and (mis)perceptions of polyamory

In order to extend the literature on consensual nonmonogamy, we conducted two studies that examined public awareness and perceptions of polyamory. Specifically, we identified individual differences that predict people’s attitudes towards polyamory and also explored whether manipulations grounded in prejudice-reduction theory might lead to more positive perceptions. In both studies, individuals reporting more traditional traits (e.g. political conservatism and religiosity) had more negative attitudes towards polyamory. In addition, participants’ prior exposure to polyamory (i.e. familiarity with the term polyamory or knowing someone polyamorous) was positively related to attitudes towards polyamory, consistent with Allport’s contact hypothesis. Finally, an experimental manipulation revealed that participants who either received additional information about polyamory (consistent with the notion that increased knowledge about outgroups can reduce prejudice; Pettigrew & Tropp) or were asked to consider the advantages and limitations of monogamy (consistent with value self-confrontation theory; Rokeach) exhibited more positive attitudes towards polyamory than did participants who only received a standard definition of polyamory. As our results represent some of the first empirical findings on perceptions of polyamory, implications for addressing the stigmatisation of this relationship style are discussed.

Consensual Nonmonogamy: Psychological Well-Being and Relationship Quality Correlates

Consensually nonmonogamous relationships are those in which all partners explicitly agree that each partner may have romantic or sexual relationships with others (Conley, Ziegler, Moors, Matsick, & Valentine, 2013). In this article, research examining the associations between consensual nonmonogamy, psychological well-being, and relationship quality is reviewed. Specifically, three types of consensual nonmonogamy are examined: swinging, open relationships (including sexually open marriage and gay open relationships), and polyamory. Swinging refers to when a couple practices extradyadic sex with members of another couple; open relationships are relationships in which partners agree that they can have extradyadic sex; and polyamory is the practice of, belief in, or willingness to engage in consensual nonmonogamy, typically in long-term and/or loving relationships. General trends in the research reviewed suggest that consensual nonmonogamists have similar psychological well-being and relationship quality as monogamists. Methodological challenges in research on consensual nonmonogamy and directions for future research are discussed.

Love and sex: polyamorous relationships are perceived more favourably than swinging and open relationships

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) refers to romantic relationships in which all partners agree to engage in sexual, romantic and/or emotional relationships with others. Within the general framework of CNM, subtypes of relationships differ in the extent to which partners intend for love and emotional involvement to be a part of their multiple relationships (that is, some relationships may prioritise love over sex with multiple partners, or vice versa). The present study examined whether individuals were more likely to stigmatise relationships that: (i) focus on loving more than one person (which is characteristic of polyamory), (ii) focus on having sex without love (which is characteristic of swinging lifestyles), or (iii) involve having sex without love without a partner’s participation (which is characteristic of open relationships). In the present research, participants were assigned to read a definition of one of the three CNM relationship types (i.e. a swinging, polyamorous or open relationship) and to indicate their attitudes towards individuals who participate in those relationships. Results show that swingers were overwhelmingly perceived more negatively (e.g. less responsible) than individuals in polyamorous relationships and that people in open relationships were sometimes perceived more negatively (e.g. less moral) than people in polyamorous relationships. Overall, findings suggest that people are more uncomfortable with the idea of strictly sexual relationships (i.e. swinging relationships) than relationships involving multiple romantic/emotional attachments (i.e. polyamorous relationships).

Stigma Toward Individuals Engaged in Consensual Nonmonogamy: Robust and Worthy of Additional Research

In our target article, “The Fewer the Merrier: Assessing Stigma Surrounding Consensual Nonmonogamous Relationships,” we documented a robust stigma toward consensual nonmonogamous relationships and a halo surrounding monogamous relationships. In the present piece, we respond to six commentaries of our target article with the aim of promoting future research and policy change. First, we address questions and concerns raised by commentators using existing data and found that regardless of perceived relationship happiness, sexual orientation, or gender (of experimental targets), individuals in consensual nonmonogamous relationships were more negatively viewed on a variety of qualities (both relationship‐specific and nonrelationship specific) compared to those in monogamous relationships. Second, we suggest productive future research avenues with regards to implications for social change, and strengthening methodology used in consensual nonmonogamous research. Finally, we consider common ground among the commentators as an avenue to promote coalition building through the examinations of prejudice toward individuals in nonnormative romantic relationships. We conclude that this is only the beginning of a fruitful line of research and argue that the stigma toward departures from monogamy is robust and, of course, worthy of additional research.

On Judging the Imagined and Unfamiliar

Across the board in Conley et al.'s studies, consensually nonmonogamous couples were judged to have relationships that were less rewarding and less desirable than those enjoyed by monogamous couples. Arguably, this occurred in part because the research participants confused nonmonogamy with boredom, exploitation, and jealousy—aversive states that can accompany, but that are not necessarily a component of, consensual nonmonogamy. Despite the ingenuity of Conley et al., they may not have examined respondents’ perceptions of loving, satisfying, genuinely consensual nonmonogamy.

Condom use errors among sexually unfaithful and consensually nonmonogamous individuals

This research involved comparisons of the condom use behaviours of people who are in monogamous relationships but who have engaged in extradyadic sex (i.e. committed infidelity) to those who are in consensually nonmonogamous (CNM) relationships. Consensual nonmonogamy is the practice of openly having multiple sexual or romantic partners simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of all participating partners. Participants in CNM relationships used condoms more correctly in their last instance of intercourse than those who were committing infidelity.

The Proliferation of Life Choices and the Resistance that Follows

Twenty‐first century America has been characterized by a proliferation of choices about such fundamental aspects of life as marital status, parental status, and living arrangements. The option to pursue consensual nonmonogamy may be another such choice. When nonnormative ways of living first enter our cultural conversations, resistance and hostility often ensue. Not all stigmatized groups organize to pursue social change. Suggestions for more just laws and policies are offered.