AbstractBased on the industrialized graphene (GN) product, a series of graphene/urea‐formaldehyde nanocomposites were synthesized via in situ polymerization by incorporation of silicon coupling agent with terminal amino groups (SA) as the compatibilizer. The results showed that addition of SA coupling agent led to much more efficient grafting of UF molecules on the GN surface with high layer thickness by formation of hydrogen bonding, and thus complete exfoliation and uniform dispersion of GN were achieved for the composites. Compared with neat UF, the addition of 1.0 wt% GN resulted in a roughly 25% increase in tensile strength and 12% increase in impact strength; meanwhile the impact fracture surfaces of the composite showed obvious ductile fracture characteristics, indicating the reinforcing and toughening effect of GN on the UF matrix. With increasing GN content, the storage modulus, glass transition temperature and crosslinking density of UF increased, while the tan δmax decreased, suggesting that a double crosslinking network structure with GN centered crosslinking point and chemical crosslinking point of UF molecular chains formed, leading to improvement in the stiffness of the composites. The present work showed promising potential for developing high performance UF resin on an industrial scale. © 2017 Society of Chemical Industry