Purpose This study aims to examine the roles of customer orientation (CO) and two distinct stress coping strategies – problem-focused (PC) and emotion-focused (EC) – in the positive relationship between customer incivility (CI) and job stress (JS). Design/methodology/approach Data were collected via a survey of casino dealers in South Korea. Common method variance was assessed using an unmeasured latent method construct, confirming both convergent and discriminant validity. Collinearity diagnostics were conducted to evaluate potential multicollinearity among independent variables. Hypotheses were tested using PROCESS Macro Models 1 and 3 to examine moderating effects and three-way interactions. Findings CI is positively related to JS. Employees with high CO experience greater JS when faced with CI compared to those with low CO. Highly customer-oriented employees with low coping strategies encounter significant JS when dealing with uncivil casino patrons. Practical implications Casino practitioners should balance CO strategies with effective stress management and support systems. This finding calls for a reevaluation of training programs and policies to maintain high service quality while ensuring employee well-being. Originality/value This study challenges the traditional view of CO as merely a stress-buffering factor by revealing its paradoxical role. It identifies individuals more susceptible to JS and demonstrates how the interaction between CI, CO and coping strategies (i.e. PC or EC) can escalate JS.