Residential resource use efficiency and management is a subject of interest to a number of fields spanning the physical and social sciences. Energy use for residential water heating in Australia is some five to eleven times more than the energy required to deliver urban water services. However, little is known about which activities within households contribute most significantly to water-related energy use (WRE). This work quantifies WRE use in individual households, and identifies household characteristics which contribute significantly to variation. Empirical data were collected through in-home audits, interviews and high-resolution end-use water flow meters for five households in Melbourne, and two in Brisbane, Australia. This was used to characterise 139 parameters describing household occupancy characteristics, behaviours, technologies, and structural and environmental aspects of influence. Mathematical material flow analysis (MMFA) modelling was conducted for individual water and energy use subsystems within each household. WRE use ranged from 7 to 21 kWh hh−1 d−1 (13–24% of total household energy use in Melbourne and 76–79% in Brisbane). Detailed end use analysis of the five Melbourne households showed that shower use (11–61% WRE), hot water system efficiency losses (8–31% WRE) and clothes washer usage (4–17% WRE) contributed most to differences in WRE between households. Findings highlighted shower use as a consistent influence on WRE across households, and suggest further investigation of shower programs as a potentially effective demand management measure for both water and energy in households. The work highlights the importance of consistent messaging for both water and energy efficiency, and suggests that a focus on both human and technical characteristics of households is needed for effective management of combined water and energy use.