While treatment is often withdrawn from patients in intensive care units (ICUs), few people outside the healthcare profession have witnessed a death under such circumstances. Family members who have made the decision to withdraw treatment may have expectations about the dying process, what constitutes a good death and how they should behave in an ICU based on popular prime-time television series. An inductive comparative thematic coding strategy is therefore used to examine how death following treatment withdrawal as depicted in a US medical drama (Grey's Anatomy) differs from realities observed for 6months fieldwork at an ICU in Canada. Three common frames (privacy, emotional control and memorialising) help patients' intimates normalise the unfamiliar experience and guide their behaviour during the event. However, discrepancies between media representations and experiences in the ICU, especially around the frames of timing of death and the physicality of the unbounded body (incontinence and agonal breathing), can traumatise them. The bereaved may be left viewing ventilator withdrawal and dying as chaotic processes and believing their loved one suffered through a bad death. Understanding these normative and discrepant frames should help healthcare professionals better prepare the public to witness death.