Abstract Drawing on interactional pragmatics and membership categorisation analysis, this paper explores indirect (third-party-oriented and situation-oriented) complaints in Spanish and English interactions between family members where expectations of affiliation are contingent on (relational) epistemic (im)balances. We analyse how (1) disaffiliation is constructed through the recipient’s more knowledgeable position in relation to the matter at hand, (2) complainability is legitimised when the recipient lacks epistemic access to the issue and (3) complaints are partially disattended by the recipient due to their inferior epistemic status regarding the situation. Throughout, we argue that (relational) epistemics is a necessary feature to incorporate in analysis, when it concerns the recipient’s responses and, therefore, interpersonal achievement of social actions. We show how complainants treat the prior turns as relevant to the rights, obligations and expectations related to their relational categories and how extended sequences of complaints are co-constructed and negotiated in interaction.