At least since Augustine's Confessions, theological task and theologian's self-articulation can be seen as somehow intertwined. The fact that academic theological discourse often obscures this link is no argument against it. All writing presupposes an I, and theological writing is no different. Indeed, theology, as I shall define it below, demands an I-Thou relationship precisely because it is a dialogue that extends through time and space. The following essay, then, aims to navigate fraught waters of a theologian's self-conception and public discourse of theology. Different modes of argumentationpersonal reflection and propositional discourse, particular-will be required, and this blending is itself part of argument.After eleven years academic theology, four post-doctoral positions, I have changed course. I left a job at University of Cambridge and began attending Iowa Writers' Workshop to pursue an MFA Creative Writing. I use metaphor of changing course, but that is not quite right. Perhaps a better one would be that of perspective. Then it would be clear that I aim to address same issues, but from a different angle. The following argument is my attempt, as a theologian, to make sense of this shift, whether of course or of perspective. It would certainly be perfectly acceptable to write fiction simply as a hobby, and even then to see it as somehow a means of engaging with broadly theological issues, but as a theologian who remains committed to theological task, I think I can go further and argue that act of fiction writing can itself be, from start, a properly theological endeavor. In fact, if following articulation of theological task is any way correct, a shift from theological academy to creative writing might well allow me to have a greater theological impact than remaining only within guild of academic theologians.I would suggest following as a preliminary, basic definition of academic discipline of theology: To teach doctrine is to introduce ones students into an historical and ongoing about who is. Because I speak here of Christian theology, term God refers particularly to revealed Jesus of Nazareth. In addition, term conversation presupposes a group of people. Historically speaking, those engaged this conversation-that is, reflection on who is-are part of group of people who worship being discussed, that is, the church. But to be clear: academic discipline of theology is not to be confused with liturgical practice of worshiping body of believers. It is instead a reflection on that practice, one step removed from actions that arise from belief this God. For that reason, it is possible to engage reflective without believing any of premises on which it is based, but because worship of gives rise to certain questions, and because discipline of theology reflects on these questions, theology and life of are ultimately intertwined and inseparable. At this stage, it seems helpful to appeal to Karl Barths language: theology is church's self-test.1To speak of church such a monolithic way poses an immediate problem: if our eyes are to be believed, such a unified entity does not exist. In this context, it must suffice to make a theological claim that will be accepted by many-but certainly not alldenominations. Even Roman Catholic Church can say about other that in some real way they are joined with us Holy Spirit.2 One might formulate it following manner: there is a reality, the church, that comprises a multitude of churches precisely because they all worship same God.In its worship and liturgy, this seeks to grow understanding of who raised Jesus from dead. This attempt is possible because has made himself known, and so doing, has initiated a relationship with his creation. …
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