The article is based on a research project using survey data (N=628) and qualitative interviews (N=60) with young people and their parents belonging to the five largest ethnic minority groups in Denmark, along with the experiences of psychosocial services for minority young people. The theoretical framework is social psychological, combining theories of modernisation, family relations and effects of discrimination. The article examines interaction with the parents in relation to their intimate partnership formation and the dynamics of religious endogamy. Main findings are that parents may be either supportive or against the young people, contrary to the dominant discourses about intergenerational conflicts. The continued practice of religious endogamy is another finding. The article criticises the reductionistic dichotomy ‐ either own or parental choice ‐ and appeals for broader concepts which focus both on own choice and parental acceptance. The article also throws light on some strategic services dealing with the problems of ethnic minority young people in forming intimate partnerships in other countries. A model for psychosocial intervention is presented which directs attention to ageism and sexism, as well as racism, at personal, interpersonal and structural levels.