The passive control of bluff body wakes using a sparse layer of elastic hairy filaments has been investigated via a series of numerical simulations and compared to selected experiments under well-controlled boundary conditions. It has been found that a distribution of filaments spaced half of the dominant three dimensional instability and resonating with the main shedding frequency can drastically delay the three dimensional transition of the wake behind a circular cylinder. It will also be shown that when using a pair of rows of filaments symmetrically spaced by an azimuthal angle, the wake topology can be deeply affected as well as the value of the integral force coefficients of the cylinder. In the most favourable case, a coupled three dimensional transition delay and strongly reduced values of the drag and of the lift fluctuation can be simultaneously achieved. These results hold also for higher Reynolds-number flows as shown in experiments on a cylinder with hairy flaps attached to the aft part. The lock-in effect of structural vibration of the flaps with the vortex shedding is assumed to be the reason for a sudden change in the shedding cycle as soon as the motion amplitude is high enough to modify the wake. In line with this hypothesis, it has been demonstrated that a long elastic filament pinned on the centerline of a forced spatially developing mixing layer can interact with the vortex dynamics delaying the pairing process-leading to a reduced thickness of the layer. These findings show that a properly designed fluid structure interaction can indeed lead to technological benefits in terms of wake control: drag reduction, vibration control and possibly palliation of aeroacoustic emissions.