Self-Portrait as Goblin Shark

Abstract

Self-Portrait as Goblin Shark Lucas Jorgensen (bio) Keywords Lucas, Jorgensen, face, silhouette, shark, Allen Ginsberg, fish, grin I hide from people. I have a big nose & don't brushmy teeth. My silhouette is long, spatteredwith lumps, bulging. This is to say: I'm ugly,I want to be unique. Since I was little,I've loved goblin sharks, their trapdoor jaws,their shape. I'm going bald. & when I do, I'll cutmy hair like Allen Ginsberg: long in the back & sides,bare up top. When I was in high school,we weren't allowed to read Ginsberg. A teachermentioned "Please Master" in class then askedus not to search it up. He'd be fired. He wasafraid. We read Cormac McCarthy's The Roadwhere people eat people. It didn't makesense. "Please Master" is about joy, it's purein its impurities. No one gets hurt. Which is whyit's okay when I say I'm ugly. It doesn't hurt me.What does a goblin shark know or careof ugly? We only care about red snapperin our teeth, cold brine along our fins. I can gomonths without seal in my belly. I feed my joy.A stingray here, a lobster there, a few bites stolenfrom a bloated whale. I've got hooks in my mouthlike a string of lights on a Christmas tree, scarson my stomach from a fight with an eel. I don't knowhow to hate. Which can be a bad thing, but is goodin this case. Throw me back & chase tuna, squid,swordfish, muscle, striper, grouper, skate. I'mthe bycatch. I love swimming. My grimacelooks like a grin in the twilight sometimes.It's an easy mistake to make. [End Page 333] Lucas Jorgensen lucas jorgensen is a poet and educator from Cleveland. He holds a BS from Florida State University and studies in the MFA program at New York University, where he is a Goldwater Fellow and assistant poetry editor for Washington Square Review. His work has appeared in or is forthcoming from Fugue, New Limestone Review, ellipses… literature & art, and others. Copyright © 2021 The Massachusetts Review, Inc.