Pictures of My Mother

Abstract

Six photos from different eras of her deceased mother's life prompt this memoir, written by the daughter at age sixty. The first photo is of her mother at high school graduation in 1929, when she was a lively, Arvada, Colorado farm girl. Five remaining photos capture the arc of the mother's life to the time of her death at age eighty. The mother marries, moves to Wyoming, and raises five children. As the youngest, the author witnesses the deterioration of the once-joyful mother into a woman plagued by the loss of her dreams, a difficult marriage, and depression. Eventually, broken trust severs the mother-daughter bond. Undiagnosed until the mother is sixty, multiple sclerosis (MS) has contributed to the family's difficulties. The daughter learns that MS often results in anger toward the afflicted person, whose behavior is erratic and depressed. Another change occurs, however, as the mother ages and deals courageously with her difficult fate. Reflections on the mythological Great Mother, who has power to create and destroy, conclude this memoir. The author ponders whether we attribute to our personal mothers the attributes of The Great Mother. Questions arise: Did she imagine her mother to have far more power than she really had? Did she expect too much of her? Did she blame her for struggles that are simply part of living life? Via these questions, the daughter comes to see her mother's humanity and to love “the colorful, constrained, complicated, and courageous” woman she was.