“Part‐Time Parent”: Mothering in the Context of Shared Physical Custody

Abstract

ObjectiveThis qualitative study examined women's identities as mothers when sharing postdivorce physical custody of children.BackgroundThe increase in divorced parents sharing physical custody can create challenges, especially for women whose identity is manifested through the social position of mother. Although researchers have investigated children's outcomes in connection with shared physical custody, little is known regarding the effects of shared custody on women's identities as mothers.MethodA secondary analysis was conducted using interviews from a grounded theory study of 20 divorced women with shared physical custody arrangements.ResultsMothers resolved the cognitive dissonance they experienced upholding the competing values of being physically present for their child and supporting their child's relationship with their father by prioritizing the belief that their child should maintain relationships with both parents. The mothers found ways in which their part‐time parent role supported their mothering identity. They also experienced challenges and developed individual solutions to overcome the challenges.ConclusionThe ideology of intensive mothering may be changing, particularly for women who undergo divorce or separation. Mothers' beliefs that their children should maintain relationships with both parents overrides their desire to always be physically present for their children and decreases the time women enact their role as mothers.ImplicationsPractitioners are encouraged to guide mothers' adjustment to their custody arrangement and help them “redo” the ways they view their mother identity.