FORGIVING IS NOT ONLY FORGETTING (PHEOMENOLOGICAL STUDY ON FORGIVENESS IN INDIVIDUAL WHO EXPERIENCES A FRIENDSHIP CONFLICT)

Zulmi Ramdani

doi:10.18769/ijasos.366853

Abstract

The friendship conflicts are associated with the emergence of hostile feelings between people who feel victimized by another person. This kind of conflict will damage the moral and relationship between them. One thing that can be done by humans to solve this problem is by forgiving. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do, considering that the offended individual may have different reactions. This concept of forgiveness will be not only concerning on what happens in the heart, but also having a willingness to restart usual interaction and behavior. This study used a phenomenological approach which was aimed to identify the meaning and the process of forgiving. The result of investigating 3 subjects carried out three important things that must exist in the process of forgiving, i.e. basic personal values, understanding of offenders, and positive efforts. Basic personal values will be individual characteristics in solving conflicts regarding on the values of kindness, love, and humanity. Understanding of offender will increase our empathy toward the feelings of others. Meanwhile, the positive effort will be our main step that forgiving is not only saying sorry, but also having sincerity in the heart which is then shown with a willingness to reinitiate and interact with the person.

Highlights

Conflict is a situation that will be accepted by each individual in accordance with its development period
A friendship conflict is linked to the emergence of feelings of hostility between someone who feels victimized with another person who feels a perpetrator
To obtain maximum data the researchers must pay attention to the theoretical part that at least can be a guide for the process of interviewing or retrieving data on phenomenology

Summary

Introduction

Conflict is a situation that will be accepted by each individual in accordance with its development period. The individual has different variety of conflicts. A friendship conflict is linked to the emergence of feelings of hostility between someone who feels victimized with another person who feels a perpetrator. A Conflict like this will damage moral and relationship between two or more people who do it. It will harm the person's physical environment, their physiological, psychological and spiritual aspects (Boyle et al, 2015). The disharmony and inconvenience of the hostilities that occur in friendship are often due to simple things, which do occur as a form of challenge in their relationships. Often the focus of the situation is a http://ijasos.ocerintjournals.org 829

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