Chapter 12 - ACEs throughout the lifespan

Abstract

Rebecca was 40 years old when she began grief therapy. Five years earlier, she had lost her only son at 18 to a drug overdose and struggled to function in the years following his death. Rebecca had her son when she was 17 years old. At the time, she was in a relationship with a man in his 20s who would physically and/or sexually assault her every time he drank alcohol, which Rebecca reported was quite often. Rebecca shared that she did not drink alcohol after coming from a family where both of her parents were alcoholics. She further shared that while growing up, she suffered terrible physical abuse from both parents, and at the age of 15, she was raped by her father. Rebecca ran away from home when she turned 16 and lived with different friends over the next couple of years until she met her boyfriend, whom she moved in with almost immediately. When Rebecca got pregnant, and the abuse continued, she left and stayed at a shelter dedicated to abused women and children. She eventually gave birth and raised her son at the shelter for the first year of his life. The shelter was not intended to be long-term, so Rebecca eventually got a job; however, she had not finished high school, and the only job she could get paid just enough for her to afford rent and necessities, but she shared that it was in a neighborhood where she often did not feel safe due to high crime rates. Rebecca expressed in therapy that she beat herself up and blamed herself for her son's death. While he was growing up, she had lost all contact with his father and, at times, had to work more than one job to make ends meet. As her son grew up, she did not like his group of friends but could not keep a constant eye on him and did not learn that he was doing drugs until 6months before his death. She beat herself up for not being able to “do better” for her son and struggled to understand that it was not her fault.