Commentary on Stone: The Fallout in My Groups From Having Written a Book About My Experiences as a Patient–Trainee Robert S. Pepper1 issn 0362-4021 © 2015 Eastern Group Psychotherapy Society group, Vol. 39, No. 2, Summer 2015 163 1 Director of Training, Long Island Institute of Mental Health, Rego Park, New York. Correspondence should be addressed to Robert S. Pepper, PhD, CGP, 110-50 71st Road, #1E, Forest Hills, NY 11375. E-mail: DrRobertSPepper@aol.com. Heisenberg (1927), in his work with quantum mechanics, noticed that measuring the direction of a subatomic particle changed its speed, and measuring its speed changed its direction. From these observations, he derived his famous theory of indeterminacy, which states with deceptive simplicity, “To observe something is to change it.” Perhaps a similar thing could be said of my experience leading treatment groups in the wake of the publication of my new book on boundaries in analytic group psychotherapy. Writing about it has changed it. And, as with so many things in life, the results have been decidedly mixed. When I wrote the manuscript, my daughter expressed concern that I was revealing too much about myself. She felt protective of me. In my many years of practicing and writing about group therapy, I have been scrupulous about keeping personal disclosure to a minimum, but in this age of Google and Internet access, I have come to the conclusion that motivated patients can readily find out plenty about me anyway, so I decided to be more open about myself and my experiences as a patient–therapist at a group training institute. If it weren’t for my editor, who called my memoir-like material “window dressing,” I would have revealed even more. But, at the same time, I was torn between wanting to tell it all and protecting my groups, and myself, from too much exposure of my neurotic side. Part of my motivation for writing the book was to set the record straight with critics of earlier writings who had accused me of taking a “holier than thou” attitude toward the complications of dual relationships in the training of group therapists. I took it personally when one reviewer of an article that I submitted for publication in a prestigious group journal rejected it, using an ad hominem argument to 164 pepper discredit me. He wasn’t the only one to have assumed that I wrote from an ivory tower when it came to blurred boundaries and that I had no real life experience with their downside. Nothing could have been further from the truth. I wrestled with the conflict over wanting to avenge myself and vengeance’s possible negative impact on my groups—and on me. When the book came out, I decided not to announce its publication to my groups. Even if it weren’t unethical, I thought it inappropriate to promote my narcissism and my financial interest on group time. As much as I have been scrupulous about transparency, I have also strived to be careful to provide a safe environment for my groups. Having been trained and treated in group therapy under one roof, where the boundary was blurred between therapy and not-therapy, and where I had seen the harm that can ensue as a result, I had vowed to do it differently in my practice , which means, among other things, that there is no social contact outside the group room. Although publishing a memoir-ish book is a long way from creating dual relationships, I worried that it might be too close for comfort for some group members. I have since issued a disclaimer to group members who have expressed an interest in reading the book: “It may contain more personal information about me than you want to know” (or than I may have wanted to reveal). I decided to wait and see if members would google me and find out about the publication and for it to come to light that way. However, the unconscious mind always rules, and I unconsciously on purpose (I suppose) outed myself. I “inadvertently ” left the book on my desk in the group room, so when several snoopy members saw it lying there...
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