In response to Cannon’s widely accepted fight-or-flight system, Taylor et al. proposed the tend-and-befriend hypothesis to better capture variance in women’s stress response behaviors. The Tend-and-Befriend Questionnaire (TBQ) measures self-reported individual differences in the use of fight, flight, tend, and befriend. Several studies have used this scale to evaluate sex differences in these behaviors, yet it has not yet been rigorously evaluated. Using three samples (N = 1094), we first explore the factor structure of the TBQ to produce and validate a revised measure, the TBQ-Short Form (TBQ-SF). Next, we evaluate the claim that women use tend-and-befriend more than men. Results indicated that the TBQ-SF provided both reliable subscales and largely acceptable model fit, yet the factor structure and validity varied across the three samples. While men do report more fighting than women, both men and women report use tending and befriending more than fighting or fleeing. Finally, other variables—namely attachment—capture more variance in TBQ-SF factors than sex. While the TBQ-SF does capture differences in stress reactions (fight, flight, tend/befriend), we suggest that the scale is most reliable in measuring overall stress reactivity. Therefore, future research should aim to construct a better scale specific to tend-and-befriend using alternative methodologies.
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