We study theoretically the spin-flip relaxation processes for a single electron in a self-assembled InAs/GaAs quantum dot, using an 8-band kp theory in the envelope function approximation. We show that the dominating channel of spin relaxation is spin admixture induced by symmetry-breaking shear strain, which can be mapped onto two effective spin-phonon terms in a conduction band (effective mass) Hamiltonian that have a similar structure and interfere constructively. Unlike the Dresselhaus coupling that dominates spin relaxation in larger, unstrained dots, the shear strain contribution cannot be modeled by a unique standard term in the Hamiltonian but rather relies on the actual strain distribution in the quantum dot.