The Utopian Pursuit of Death Siamak Movahedi Sometime ago, I came across a collection of notes that a Middle Eastern freelance writer had been compiling to edit as an anthology of the human experience of war. These notes were all final letters or wills and testaments of some militant men who had volunteered for dangerous or suicidal missions. These missions involved various regional conflicts in the Middle East between 1980 and 1990. The letters were either sent by the volunteers to their families right before a dangerous mission that took their life or were found in their possession when they later discovered their bodies. The war anthology never took form. A severe depression of the writer hampered the completion of the work. He later committed suicide. Within limits set by confidentiality, I was permitted to study the letters. 1 I thought I might have stumbled over some symbolically significant psychoanalytic texts. A communication that a person makes while he or she is anticipating an impending death is an overloaded message. It may be comparable to the first or the last dream in psychoanalysis. It may provide important clues not only to the person’s immediate psychic experience—needs, feelings, or images—but also to one’s characteristic mode of encounter with the object world. Although one cannot speak of a writer separate from his or her linguistic and cultural forms of self expression, differences in the pattern of such expressions should reveal something about the writer’s own psychic voice. For this analysis, I tried to bracket off the notes from external data as much as possible to see whether I could detect any pattern that I could attribute to the individual’s characteristic state of mind. This was not to underestimate the importance of the sociocultural context for the intelligibility of human action. Rather, I wished to focus primarily on a written piece of work to see how much we could legitimately trace to the writer’s psychic dispositions. [End Page 1] A writer does more than just describe things, make contact or express his or her feelings and desires. Somewhere in that description or contact the writer presents a self. The self resides in the projected consciousness of the object. The internal representation of the object is not separate from that of the self. Reading, listening, observing, and understanding are all forms of contextual interpretations. A pure phenomenological method is an illusion. We need instructions to observe and understand. A theory serves exactly that function. My focus being the inner dialogues of individuals, rather than the social institutions that structure them, I tried to conduct a psychoanalytic reading of the notes. That is, I tried to read them as though they were clinical process notes, and “listen” to layers of “messages” through a psychoanalytic “ear.” Just as in the analytic situation, my intention was to be able to feel myself into the writer’s self-experience to pick up his dominant affects, identify his wishes, defenses, unearth his inner representations of self and other, and depict his world view. For an observational instruction or conceptual lens, I relied on certain formulations of the object relation theory. Works of Bateson (1968) on communication and Shneidman (1993) on suicide notes served as my magnifying glasses. I began with the assumption that unconscious object relation fantasies structure the person’s attitudes and expectancies about the external world. Contact with the world, as articulated in one’s writings, should reflect such attitudes and expectancies. Within the same social-cultural environment, people display a unique pattern of interaction with one another and with things. Through the medium of social-cultural patterns people also express their own characteristic syntax of object relations. A letter exhibits an object relation event, a communication episode. It represents a ritual of engagement with an audience, a manifestation of a wish for relatedness, an attempt to contact a symbolic world. A letter, as with any other mode of communication, carries what Bateson (1968) terms a “report” and a “command.” The report component of a message, or its content, conveys information about the external world. The [End Page 2] command aspect, on the other hand, addresses the particular relationship between...
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