Human Activity Recognition (HAR) using wearable Internet of Things (IoT) devices represents a well investigated researched field encompassing various application domains. Many current approaches rely on cloud-based methodologies for gathering data from diverse users, resulting in the creation of extensive training datasets. Although this strategy facilitates the application of powerful Machine Learning (ML) techniques, it raises significant privacy concerns, which can become particularly severe given the sensitivity of HAR data. Moreover, the labeling process can be extremely time-consuming and even more challenging for IoT wearable devices due to the absence of efficient input systems. In this paper, we address both aforementioned challenges by designing, implementing, and validating edge-based Human Activity Recognition (HAR) systems that operate on resource-constrained IoT devices, which relies on the utilization of Self-Organizing Maps (SOM) for activity detection. We incorporate a feature selection process before training to reduce data dimensionality and, consequently, the SOM size, aligning with the resource limitations of wearable IoT devices. Additionally, we explore the application of Federated Learning (FL) techniques for HAR tasks, enabling new users to leverage SOM models trained by others on their respective datasets. Our federated Extreme Edge (EE)-aware HAR system is implemented on a wearable IoT device and rigorously tested against state-of-the-art and experimental datasets. The results demonstrate that our C++-based SOM implementation achieves a consistent reduction in model size compared to state-of-the-art approaches. Furthermore, our findings highlight the effectiveness of the FL-based approach in overcoming personalized training challenges, particularly in onboarding scenarios.