Burnt out, frustrated, and fed up with the glorification of publishing in the tourism academy, the authors in this critical viewpoint touch on counter-ideologies rarely acknowledged within the academy. We discuss the toxicity of publication glorification, systemic racism of the scientific community, the eugenic roots of statistical analysis, and how they may lead to our tourism academy’s downfall and eventual demise. Drawing inspiration from Saldaña’s rant as a method of inquiry and provocation, our letter invites readers to confront the uncomfortable truths about our cult-ish publication norms, imperial and colonial roots of our research methods, and the academy’s complicity in perpetuating inequities. We conclude with a rebellious call for radical change, a new “social justice turn” which includes a list of “shit that has to change” and the building of a coalition of “good troublemakers” in the tourism academy.