While the experiences of infertile women to infertility have been well studied in African countries, the gendered differences in experiences with infertility and how men and women respond to infertility in societies with strong social expectations of becoming a parent is understudied. This article discusses how women’s and men’s experiences with infertility is molded by the prevailing structure of gendered behaviours, roles and expectations and how they process, make sense of, and negotiate their identities in relation to ‘failing’ upon a highly expected dimension of life, namely parenthood. To address this dearth, phenomenological research design and a combination of methods, such as in-depth interviews, key informant interviews, review of secondary literature, and case histories, were used. The study was conducted at Family Guidance Association of Ethiopia model clinic in Addis Ababa. The study reveals that infertility challenges self-perceived gender identity of women and men. However, at the social level, women’s gender identity is more strongly challenged than men’s. Further, there are tremendous and gendered variations in the types of stigma and psychological distresses experienced and coping mechanisms adopted. In general, women carry the greatest burden of infertility within the existing gender structure, and social sufferings resulting from infertility have not produced new alternatives to masculine and feminine identities.Keywords: Infertility, gender, social suffering, copping strategy