Self-Portrait with Statue of a Hawk, and: Self-Portrait as Ornament Annie Kim (bio) Self-Portrait with Statue of a Hawk Some days I stare into the mirror like a movie character. I could talk to my reflection, but what to say? I use a wand to paint two midnight lines across my eyelids. If the wand shakes, I get two Rorschachs. Don't think, I think.There are reasons why a lake might freeze: hardheartedness, a desire to reflect, boredom. Reasons why the hawk perched on the roof of that crumbling brownstone never moves. In the landscapes of Hendrick Avercamp the lake is always frozen. Unclear, though, whether the villagers skating across the lake with their baskets and their plumy cloaks are having the time of their lives because now they can go wherever they want or because now they realize how the end of the world will look: cold but sunny.Some days I prefer leafless trees. They're like those ancient women who stand around in the gym locker room, buck naked, skin steaming a little after a shower, toes soft—ever so slightly taloned—gripping their snowy patch of towel. [End Page 100] Self-Portrait as Ornament Say you were a sink. Say you had a pedestal. And your walls, high and lovely, were engineered to release the water that came tumbling down each day into your drain. What is a mouth, anyway? Though you remember how to pray. How you sat with that blond boy, holding hands beneath a tree, asking Heavenly Father to pierce the hearts of your unbelieving friends. Now you watch the squirrels leap from branch to branch and listen to the wind tossing supple golden leaves of the oak from where you stand, affixed to drywall. Your dream? No longer whisking off your daily damages through pipes, those switchboard circuits, no longer being sturdy, worthy, useful—just an ornament. But how would you endure those vapid hours simply crouched in your sunlit corner, wordlessly absorbing space? [End Page 101] Annie Kim Annie Kim is a poet, ex-lawyer, and violinist. Her books are Eros, Unbroken (2020), winner of the 2019 Washington Prize, and Into the Cyclorama, winner of the Michael Waters Poetry Prize (2016), a finalist for the Foreword INDIES Best Poetry Book of the Year. Kim's poems have appeared in journals such as Beloit Poetry Journal, The Cincinnati Review, Four Way Review, The Kenyon Review, Narrative, and Plume. A graduate of Warren Wilson College's MFA Program for Writers and the recipient of fellowships from the Virginia Center for Creative Arts and Hambidge Center, Kim works at the University of Virginia School of Law as the Assistant Dean for Public Service, where she teaches in the Program for Law and Public Service. Copyright © 2020 Pleiades and Pleiades Press