Reviewed by: How We Love: A Formation for the Celibate Life by John Mark Falkenhain Br. Patrick Sean Moffett, CFC, PhD How We Love: A Formation for the Celibate Life. By John Mark Falkenhain, OSB. Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press, 2019. Pp. 235. $29.95. Br. John Mark Falkenhain, a Benedictine and psychologist, has devoted much of the opening decades of the new millennium to researching and teaching about initial formation for a life of celibate chastity. In August of 2019, while Review for Religious was still in hibernation, he gathered his findings and insights under the title How We Love. His text has already become a standard resource for those actively engaged in religious formation in the United States. Executive Director of the Religious Formation Conference, Sister Ellen Dauwer, SC, reports: "The work of Br. John Mark Falkenhain, OSB in the area of celibate chastity is a significant contribution to literature on the vows. In our ministry of preparing formators as well as in our programs that prepare religious women and men for life commitment, How We Love is a fundamental resource. It brings an essential contemporary perspective to formation for celibate life and is well grounded in theory and practice." The work of a master teacher, How We Love offers a well-integrated program for formation in celibate chastity in a series of clear and concise presentations, well-honed in years of interaction with groups of aspiring religious and their formators. This review serves to alert those who might be on the periphery of such work. Senior women and men religious or diocesan priests will do well to [End Page 277] compare current forms of formation for celibate life with their own preparation, or lack thereof, for the life-long experience of the sexual dimensions of self-understanding, self-accepting and self-giving. As communities become increasingly disparate in age and culture, senior religious do well to learn what is going into the formation of younger members. Of special note are brief reviews of current psychological understandings of sex, gender, sexual orientation, and same-sex attraction, as well as church teachings on homosexual orientation and homosexual acts. He confronts directly the controversy surrounding the phrase "intrinsically disordered" (97) and invites discernment on what specific meaning congregations give to the expression "present deep-seated homosexual tendencies" or "gay subculture" (99). A continuing engagement in theological reflection is presented as essential to formation for the celibate life. Five theologies of consecrated celibacy are surveyed as contexts for discerning meaning in lived experiences of our sexuality. Attractions, longings, fantasies, relationships, entanglements, uncertainties, regrets, repentance, resolutions, and ecstasies all invite examination through the lens of our understanding of the call to celibate chastity. Here, I believe, the book opens up realms that call out for further clarification and elaboration. The presentation of the five theologies is understandably schematic: Celibacy for the Sake of the Kingdom: The Eschatological Dimension; the Apostolic Dimension; Spousal Theology of Celibacy; and an Ascetic Theology of Celibacy. An additional section entitled "In Persona Christi Capitis: Celibacy in Imitation of Christ" is presented (I suggest problematically) as relating specially to priestly or clerical celibacy. Those engaged in the formative process will need to seek richer resources on religious brothers and sisters imitating Christ through their celibacy. Theologians might respond by tapping rich traditions and translating them into current exigencies. The revisions of constitutions and rules of various congregations following Perfectae Caritatis are informative. In 1975 Donald Goergen, OP, traced celibacy back to the Torah and opened decades of conversation with The Sexual Celibate. F.'s bibliography offers important leads into emerging social issues. How best can we follow up on these leads to articulate the case for celibate chastity in religious life in 2021 and beyond? Review for Religious would welcome such contributions. As a practicing psychologist, F. appropriately reminds the reader that the main focus of spiritual direction and religious formation ought not be psychological in nature. He offers a useful examination of the internal and external forum and the roles of specialists in the formation process. While not promoted in the book, there are on-line resources to be found at https://www.sliconnect.org/mental-health-matters...
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