Purpose Food rituals are an ever present part of consumers’ lives that have practical implications for well-being. This paper aims to explore how food and its relationship to pleasure evolve, as women navigate social norms around gender and aging. Design/methodology/approach Ethnographic data were collected using in-depth interviews and participant observations of members of the Red Hat Society (RHS) across 27 months. This approach provided a more nuanced perspective on how food experiences shape consumption rituals and communal ties over time. Findings Older women in the RHS eat rebelliously when they break social norms of gender and aging by indulging together in food and drink. Their rituals of rebellious eating have implications on well-being, heightening their experiential pleasure of food and conviviality and forging social support and a sense of community. The dark side of personal indulgence is explored within a larger framework of food well-being. Originality/value This study shows how older women challenge social expectations around age and gender through food pleasure rituals. The concept of rebellious eating is introduced to conceptualize how these older women rethink aging and indulgence within a supportive community of consumption and integrate the concepts into their personal narratives.