In an era of increased healthcare and medication costs, using the comfort of an emotional support animal as a disability mitigation presents a valuable alternative to an overtaxed healthcare system. The rise in use of emotional support animals has outpaced the regulation of them, however. Four key federal statutes affect the legal rights and obligations for assistive animals under federal law — the Americans with Disabilities Act, the Rehabilitation Act, the Fair Housing Act, and the Air Carrier Access Act. While all four require accommodations for service animals, only the latter two require the same for emotional support animals. Even so, there is no consensus on how to define emotional support animals — the Americans with Disabilities defines them by exclusion, while the Air Carrier Access Act defines them by inclusion into a broader “service” animal category, and the rest merely defer to the latter. The resulting gap and confusion in federal regulation produce rather absurd results: peacocks on planes, alligators in apartments, and plenty of confusion regarding whether anyone can do anything about either. This Article argues for eliminating this gap in federal regulations with clear, prescriptive revisions to key disability laws and their reasonable accommodation requirements as applied to emotional support animals. Namely, it proposes that Congress should amend select reasonable accommodations laws so that the definition of “emotional support animal” mirrors the definition for “service animal.” These proposed revisions address three main problems plaguing the emotional support animal landscape: (1) fraudulent misrepresentation of pets as emotional support animals, (2) misrepresentation of absurdly untenable, wild, or exotic pets as emotional support animals, and (3) lack of accessibility to emotional support animals for disabled individuals who could greatly benefit from them. An emotional support animal under the proposed framework would be dog, cat, or miniature horse whose presence — or a task it performs — provides comfort or emotional support to a disabled individual. Moreover, this Article calls for eliminating the statement of need, which would further align the emotional support animal framework with that of the service animal. In doing so, it clarifies accommodation provider responsibilities with regard to these animals, and fair use of a valuable accommodation option for those disabled individuals seek to benefit legitimately from it.