PurposeThe purpose of this paper is to enable the reader to recognise that from each natural preference on the four Jungian dimensions flow opposite beliefs, behaviours and language; that difference initially is perceived negatively; and to provide strategies that will create real value from difference, improving their ability to manage relationships and enhancing their career prospects.Design/methodology/approachThe paper defines each preference on each of the four dimensions: extroverted or introverted preference for obtaining energy and focusing; practical or concept preference for gathering and using information; logical or harmony preference for taking decisions; and structured or flexible preference for operating in the outside world. It sets out the words and phrases used for each preference and proves that they are polar opposites. The paper highlights the importance of relationships to career prospects in large diverse organisations. It demonstrates that the most effective profile for career success in such organisations is ECLS. The study details how the use of the technique reflective listening enables the individual to calm down an angry boss and leave him/her with a perception of competence. The paper also indicates how, whatever the reader's profile, he/she can gain a competitive edge in career and relationship terms if he/she both follows a personal path to completeness in all the dimensions and develops empathy by adopting a matching strategy.FindingsThe paper finds that there is a difference in the dimensions results in difficult relationships with opposite profiles. In modern, large, diverse organisations, the ECLS profile has a competitive edge in career terms. This natural edge can be overturned by individuals who are prepared to pursue a personal path to completeness and use an effective empathetic approach to managing relationships.Originality/valueThe paper provides a demonstration of how the distribution of introverted and extroverted preferences in the chain of command can have a major impact on career prospects. It also shows how individuals, who use a positive approach to managing differences, can maximise relationship and career success, whereby they themselves follow the path to completeness in the four dimensions, and others adopt a strategy where they match the other person's (particularly the boss's) beliefs, behaviours and language.