In this work, a low-cost, disposable, and portable lab-on-paper device is proposed to simultaneously quantify total polyphenol content (TPC) and antioxidant capacity (AOC) in 15 min; the assay requires no pre-treatment of the samples. The lab-on-paper device fabrication has been carried out employing a xurography-based benchtop microfabrication technology using low-cost materials as chromatography paper and polymeric sheets. Extra virgin olive oil (EVOO) phenolic compounds' represents a nutritional added value, nevertheless, the high lipidic content hinders their direct and rapid analysis, resulting in an extremely challenging sample. The realized lab-on-paper allows to perform the dual TPC and AOC determination in three simple steps: (i) sample loading, (ii) analytes transport to the analysis spot, and (iii) double colorimetric analysis exploiting the growth of AuNPs and AgNPs on paper mediated by phenolic compounds. Signal acquisition is achieved using a standard digital camera. The dual colorimetric assay is able to detect phenolic compounds in the 25–500 mg L−1 range with limits of detection ≤6 mg L−1 and good reproducibility (RSDs ≤11%). Direct analysis of EVOO samples (n = 30) correlated well (r > 0.92) with conventional spectrophotometric methods for TPC and AOC determination.