In 1 986, Warren S. Blumenfeld, a professor at Georgia State University, published an obscure book [2] that attracted widespread attention among those with an acute interest in the obtuse. It was entitled: Jumbo Shrimp and Other Almost Perfect Oxymorons. A few examples from his book reveal the oxymoron’s real potential for serious satire: criminal justice, political scientist, graduate student, rock music, light opera, live television, military intelligence, civil wan, legal brief, statistical significance, casual sex. Since reading Professor Blumenfeld’s book, I have noticed examples of the oxymoron lurking conspicuously in nadiologic publications. These have resulted, sadly, in unintended humor and have cleanly confused the reading audience. Here are some examples: “Absence of breath sounds was present” (or “Presence of breath sounds was absent”). “Absence...present” and “Presence...absent” are models of the type of oxymoron to avoid. In short, they serve only to lengthen the sentence. Suggestion: “Breath sounds were absent.” “The patient had a diagnosis of undiagnosed abdominal pain How can a diagnosis be undiagnosed? This construction is another excellent example of a terrible oxymoron. Suggestion: “The patient had abdominal pain of unknown cause.” “Causes of epigastnic pain include peptic ulcer, hiatal hernia, cholecystitis, and idiopathic.” Because idiopathic means “of unknown cause,” listing idiopathic as a cause is almost identical (perhaps even exactly similar) to saying that the patient has a diagnosis of undiagnosed pain. Suggestion: “Causes of epigastric pain include peptic ulcer, hiatal hernia, and cholecystitis. In some patients, the cause is never determined.” “1311-Hippuran showed no visualization of the kidneys.” This construction (“showed no visualization”) is obviously a subtle oxymoron (the tracer showed something that was not shown). Suggestion: “Renal uptake of 131l-Hippuran was absent.” ‘This represents a nonmnflammatory arthritis.” Arthritis comes from the Greek arthron = a joint, and -itis (suffix) = inflammation. A noninflammatory inflammation is cleanly confusing. Suggestion: ‘This is a noninflammatory arthnopathy.” A typical variant of the oxymoron is the following: ‘The results of pulmonary function tests in our patient were nonmal. The only abnormality was decreased diffusing capacity.” Having just explicitly implied that the test results were normal, the author states the exact opposite. Suggestion: “The only abnormal result of pulmonary function tests in our patient was “These findings were also present in several normal patients.” Care should be exercised in juxtaposing “normal” and “patients.” Patients normally have abnormalities that constitute ill health, even though the abnormalities may appear to the blinded observer to lie on a normal distribution curve. In general, it is always better to use the term “healthy subjects.” “Discussion was centered around the relative merits of MRI and CT myelognaphy.” Scattered occurrences of the term “centered around” are ubiquitous in the radiologic litenatune, despite the fact that this term does not square with the properties of the circle as described by the principles of practical Euclidean geometry. The center (from Greek: kentron = sharp point) is the point about which a circle’s cincumfenence is drawn. To write on say “centered around” is to confuse the center with the circumference. This is another variant of the oxymoron, and a pretty ugly one at that. Suggestion: “centered on.” The oxymoron, particularly the unintended oxymoron, detracts from scientific writing. Because the oxymoron involves intimate juxtaposition of two widely disparate concepts, it may definitely confuse casual readers who are scrutinizing what you have written. Deliberately avoid the oxymoron, particularly the unintended oxymoron, unless you have a confident suspicion that the reader knows exactly what you think you mean.