ABSTRACT “BDSM” refers to various forms of sexuality that incorporate restraint, pressure, sensation, training, and elements of both erotic and non-erotic power exchange between the involved parties. BDSM’s ideas and development were not accepted by the majority and are often associated with mental illnesses. However, recent western research suggested that BDSM practices may benefit its practitioners. This study aimed to unearth the life wisdom of three female kinky in Hong Kong. It employed a narrative inquiry informed by narrative therapy techniques. Results concluded four themes based on the development of their life wisdom through engaging as a submissive in a D/s relationship. The four themes were: (1) enriching identity in BDSM relationships, (2) shaping a preferred locus of control, (3) gaining sexual autonomy through BDSM and (4) healing with BDSM interactions. This study provided insights, implementations, and suggestions for social work practice and research in BDSM contexts.