In this paper, the abnormal experimental phenomenon on barrel erosion under extreme working conditions in the ultra-long life experiment (>10000 h) of ion thruster ion optics is studied by the Immersed-Finite-Element Particle-In-Cell Monte-Carlo-Collision (IFE-PIC-MCC) method and the grid erosion evaluation model. The transport process of beam ions and Charge Exchange (CEX) ions in the grid system, and the characteristics and mechanisms of the aperture barrel erosion under extreme erosion conditions (i.e. the cylindrical erosion and chamfer erosion) were systematically studied. Thanks to the advantage of the IFE method for dealing with complex boundaries in structured mesh, the aperture barrel erosion morphology of the accelerator grid is reconstructed accurately based on the experimental results. The results show that, with the evolution of working conditions, the mechanism of the aperture barrel erosion changes significantly, which relies heavily on the accelerator grid morphology. The change of the accelerator grid aperture barrel morphology has a significant effect on the behavior of CEX ions, and only affects the local electric field distribution, but has no effect on the upstream plasma sheath. As the erosion progresses, the erosion position moves downstream along the grid aperture axis direction, and the erosion range becomes narrower. Regardless of the erosion phase, the erosion rate of the CEX ions located downstream of the decelerator grid is the largest. The erosion rate is related to the mean incident energy and angle, and their variation is closely related to the position and trajectory of CEX ions.