Loss Of Love Research Articles

The Process of Marital Disaffection: Interventions at Various Stages

This article examines the process of marital disaffection to determine if there is a pattern of sequential stages in this process. A three-phase model was developed from results of in-depth interviews with 49 highly disaffected spouses. The results indicate that to reverse the process of disaffection marital therapy must involve different goals and interventions during each phase of disaffection. The romantic bliss of a new love rarely survives the travails of married life. Nevertheless, most couples expect to maintain the love and affection for many years and love may be a crucial element for stability of the marriage. The loss of love is given as a major reason for marital dissolution-more so than ever before in history (Albrecht, Bahr, & Goodman, 1983; Bloom & Hodges, 1981; Kelly, 1982). Intimacy and love were identified by Kingsbury and Minda (1988) as the best indicator of whether couples plan to continue or terminate their relationships. These affective-type variables were more important than factors such as exchange of resources, conflict tactics, and self-disclosure. As financial, social, and legal impairments to divorce in the Western world weaken (Trost, 1986), more emphasis is placed on the emotional bond as a motive for staying together. Emotional bonds play a central role in marital relations; therefore, it is important to understand the factors which contribute to their growth or demise. In this article the deterioration of emotional attachment in marriage (what is referred to as marital disaffection) is examined. Marital disaffection is the gradual loss of an emotional attachment, a decline in caring about the partner, an emotional estrangement, and an increasing sense of apathy and indifference. By disaffection is meant the replacement of positive affect with neutral affect. In order for disaffection to occur, it is assumed that some positive feelings existed in the beginning of the relationship. There are many other motives-dependence, co-dependency, financial gain, power, social obligations, cultural expectations, extended family-to account for coupling and for remaining in relationships (cf. Lederer & Jackson, 1968). Most spouses would argue that some positive feelings (such as romance, love, security, or caring) did exist in the beginning of their relationship. Disaffection does not necessarily lead to marital dissolution. However, thoughts of separation or divorce become more frequent among disaffected individuals. The experience of disaffection is usually not mutual-typically it occurs in only one partner, or in one partner much more than the other. Disaffection can often result in marriages that have been referred to as devitalized (Cuber & Harroff, 1965) or empty shell (Goode, 1964). Disaffection provides a barometer of the emotional status of the couple. Assessing the level of disaffection is a central issue in marital therapy. Information about the level of disaffection provides clues about spouses' motivation to work on the marriage and the extent to which the marital therapist must rebuild emotional ties. Does disaffection follow some predictable course or pattern that can

Depression on Women: Psychoanalytic Concepts

I would now like to summarize the relationship between concepts about depression and formulations of feminine development and personality. What are women's vulnerabilities? 1. The particular vicissitudes of feminine development result in differences, in attachment and anxiety about loss of love and abandonment as part of the normal constellation of feminine personality. These derive, in part, from the difference in the process of separation-individuation and differentiation in women as compared with men. 2. The normal feminine personality includes responsiveness and/or dependency in relation to others and greater anxiety about loss of love. This sensitivity is important in the regulation of and fluctuations of self-esteem. 3. The pathways for development of aggression and its fate includes the powerful effect of social customs that prescribe passivity with consequent likelihood of helplessness and the relatively fewer pathways for activity and active mastery. 4. Problems of self-esteem, including those resulting from the recognition of aggression and also the development of an ego ideal that values sacrifice and service. Devaluation of the female body contributes. 5. Problems of identification with a devalued person as a woman--the mother--who is sometimes also depressed. 6. Sex-role stereotypes and life conditions that support devaluation, subservience, and helplessness and limit opportunities.

An “Absolute Must?”

An "Absolute Must?' Handbook of Rational-Emotive Therapy. Volume 2. Albert Ellis and Russell Grieger (Eds.). New York: Springer Publishing, 1986. (464 pp.) The recent publication of Volume 2 of the Handbook of Rational-Emotive Therapy has been long awaited (Volume 1 appeared in 1977). Volume 2, like its predecessor, contains a wealth of interesting and informative articles on RET culled from various journals. It has the same general format as Volume 1 with articles grouped under a few major headings according to context, e.g., Theoretical and Conceptual Foundations, Dynamics of Emotional Disturbance, Primary Techniques and Basic Processes, and Applications of Rational-Emotive-Therapy. It maintains the high standard set by Volume 1 with well-written articles by all contributors. The general tone of Volume 2 (as in Volume l) is heavily influenced by the style of co-editor Albert Ellis who writes in his usual pithy forthright way in various chapters. In Chapter 1 (with Michael E. Bernard) he gives an excellent and concise account of the basic concepts of RET plus a brief review of its historical development. In Chapter 2 he compares RET with other forms of cognitive-behavior therapy and lists the main points of similarity and difference (see also Golden & Dryden (1986) for further discussion of this topic). He ends this article, as he started, by asserting that cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) and general (as opposed to "preferential") RET are synonymous, which, superficially, at least, may be so. To the extent that it is, it emphasizes the eclectic nature of general RET and the central position it occupies in the cognitivebehavioral therapies. Ellis's articles on the application of RET to love problems (Chapter 10) and on overcoming resistance (Chapter 15) are informative and full of useful suggestions on topics such as, how to find suitable partners (pp. 170-174) and dealing with loss of love (pp. 174-176). I am, however, somewhat puzzled by his notion of "rational jealousy." In RET it has been customary to distinguish between extreme negative emotions which, it is argued, are derived from irrational beliefs (I/Bs), e.g., hate, anger, depression and their less extreme forms such as dislike, displeasure, and unhappiness, derived from rational beliefs (R/Bs). Ellis has, however, departed from this custom on occasion (see "Healthy and unhealthy aggression," Ellis, 1973). Note, however, that Grieger, in his article on anger problems (discussed below) also seems to have some conceptual difficulty with this notion when he writes: "Healthy anger, or better (italics mine) irritation or annoyance . . ." (p. 136); thereby, I would argue implicitly expressing doubts about the validity or referring to an extreme negative emotion as if it could, under some circumstances, be regarded as healthy. Jealousy is another such extreme negative emotion. It is based, as I hope to establish, upon various demands, and therefore irrational, and is potentially, highly destructive. The notion of "rational jealousy" therefore seems a contradiction in terms, rather like "rational fury," "rational depression" or "slightly dead." Moreover, the example Ellis gives by way of illustration is unconvincing. Thus, he writes: "When we are rationally jealous, we feel frustrated and disappointed when our beloved pays too much attention to others, but we are not severely disturbed" (p. 167). This lack of severe disturbance, I presume, is the basis for his description of jealousy as "rational" and would imply that "too much" merely expressed a preference and not a demand. I would suggest that "too much" in the above example, given that the emotion generated is jealousy, seems more likely to mean "My beloved is giving attention to others which should rightly be given to me." If so, it is merely an indirect way of saying "You should not pay so much attention to others," i.e., a hidden demand not a preference, and is therefore irrational. Other interpretations are, of course, possible, and, in the final analysis, it depends on what one means by jealousy. …

Love and Work: Complementary Aspects of Personal Identity

Freud suggested that mental health depends on the capacity to love and to work. The complementary nature of these aspects of identity is examined and illustrated by case material from couples in marital therapy. It is argued that the work task and its milieu can support, or fail to support, personal development, as can a marriage. When alternatives are available, the choice of occupation, as of marital partner, is related to conscious and unconscious images of the self. Loss of work can be analogous to loss of love with implications for a person's sense of identity and marriage.

Psychological reactions to chronic medical illness.

Psychological reactions to chronic medical illness can be categorized as follows: the chronically ill patient is vulnerable, first and foremost, to eight types of psychological stress, all of which have their roots in early childhood. Specifically, chronic illness evokes a threat to the patient's self esteem; fear of strangers; separation anxiety; fear of loss of love, and of the control of developmentally achieved functions; fear of loss of, or injury to body parts; guilt and fear of retaliation; and fear of pain, which cuts across all of these stresses. Other psychological reactions to chronic medical illness include regression, conflict, and inevitable distortions in object relationships. Suggestions for the amelioration of these responses within the matrix of the doctor patient relationship are proposed.

Guilt and Guilt Feeling: Power and the Limits of Power

Previous articleNext article No AccessGuilt and Guilt Feeling: Power and the Limits of PowerMarcia Cavell AufhauserMarcia Cavell Aufhauser Search for more articles by this author PDFPDF PLUS Add to favoritesDownload CitationTrack CitationsPermissionsReprints Share onFacebookTwitterLinkedInRedditEmail SectionsMoreDetailsFiguresReferencesCited by Ethics Volume 85, Number 4Jul., 1975 Article DOIhttps://doi.org/10.1086/291968 Views: 11Total views on this site Copyright 1975 The University of ChicagoPDF download Crossref reports no articles citing this article.

Love and Pain

He may strice for perfection and moral goodness lest he feel the pain of love loss, and experience great guilt and loss of self-esteem if his efforts fail. He may seek status, success, power, wealth. These are normally the satisfying but secondary rewards which may accompany personal fulfillment. They may, however, be efforts to control pain by securing love, or by controlling those who would not. If so they become ends in themselves toward which an individual is compelled.

A study of some determinants of aggression in young children.

The frustration-aggression theory of Dollard, Doob, Miller, Mowrer, and Sears (3) presented aggression as a natural and inevitable consequence of interference with, or blocking of, a goal response. Although the major postulate of the frustration-aggression hypothesis has required modification, its corollary, that aggression presupposes the occurrence of frustration, has been widely accepted (5). Studies of child-training practices (e.g., I, 7, 8, Io) have provided some supporting, if not always consistent, evidence for this latter hypothesis. Such studies suggest, however, that the extent to which aggression is manifested depends not only upon the degree of frustration that a child experiences, but also on the effectiveness of the parents' training into social conformity. Early in the child's life measures are taken to curb the development of aggression by threatening the child with punishment or loss of love. Even as aggressive patterns of behavior are being learned, aggression is being partially inhibited or channeled into more socially accepted forms. One consequence of the development of inhibitions is the displacement of aggression to objects other than the original frustrator. Thus, a child who is frustrated by its parents may displace aggression to a sibling or a toy. Analogously, one might expect a child who is frustrated by an adult in a school setting to displace aggression to playthings in his environment. The extent to which displacement occurs may be thought of as a joint

The Measurement of Castration Anxiety and Anxiety over Loss of Love

The Measurement of Castration Anxiety and Anxiety over Loss of Love