The field of bioinspired iontronics, bridging electronic devices and ionic systems, has multiple biological applications. Carbon‐based ultracapacitive devices hold promise for controlling bioactive ions via electric double layers due to their high‐surface‐area and biocompatible porous carbon electrodes. However, the interplay between complex bioactive ions and porous carbons remains unclear due to the variety of structures of bioactive ions present in biological systems. Herein, we investigate the adsorption behavior of a series of bioactive ammonium‐based cations with varying alkyl chain lengths in nanoporous carbons. We find that strong physisorption results from the synergistic hydrophobic interaction and electrostatic attraction between porous carbons (with a negative zeta potential) and bioactive cations. Bioactive cations with varying alkyl chain lengths can be irreversibly physically adsorbed and confined within nanoporous carbons resulting in anion enrichment and depletion during electric polarization. This situation, in turn, results in a characteristic memristive behavior in all‐carbon capacitive ionic memristor devices. Our findings highlight the relationship between the resistance state of the memristor and ion adsorption mechanisms in all‐carbon capacitive devices, which hold potential for future transmitter delivery, biointerfacing, and neuromorphic devices.