A thematic decomposition of group interviews conducted with 176 young people from East London on the topic of personal relationships is presented. The focus of the analysis is on the role played by cultural and community factors on the form of personal relationships, and particular emphasis is given to the power-related issues of gender and ethnicity. Five broad themes are discussed, entitled ‘An imagined community: Harmonious diversity’, ‘multi-culturalism and racism’, ‘Asian communities and families’, ‘the inter-relationship of gender with ethnicity’ and ‘the role of religion in shaping relationships’. The findings are discussed in relation to inadequacies with abstract and generalized psychological models that fail to grasp the specificities of community relations. Copyright © 1999 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.