We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. Carl JungBefore you start reading, think of a behaviour that you would like to change. If you can, write it down and describe it, so you can easily come back to it as you are reading through this article. An important part of motivational interviewing is to be able to first apply the technique to yourself: once you've found the trick to changing your own behaviours, you can then use this knowledge to help transform others.Motivation, in simple terms, is the desire to change something. Motivational interviewing is a personcentred counselling approach that focuses on collaboratively eliciting, and subsequently strengthening, an individual's motivation to change.1 Rather than focusing on the negative battle, the technique encourages the individual to focus on what they are good at, who they are now - their needs, desires and goals - and the person they will turn into - their future self. Ultimately, motivational interviewing is about change, and the three principles that underlie all change: everything is a state of mind; state of mind is habit; and habits can change. We all learn things by habit, for example, how we sign our name and which arm our watch is on. Motivational interviewing focuses on finding these habits and discovering what it is that blocks you from getting up and doing what you know is right, that is, from changing your behaviour.THE ESSENCE OF MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWINGPause here and think about how compassionate you are towards yourself - what do you say to yourself when you think about the behaviour you are going to change? What motivates you?'It's not your fault, but it is your problem.'Change is the responsibility of the individual, and it is important to remember that you cannot force behaviour change in others: in order to change a behaviour, you need to own your own problem. The role of the motivational interviewer is to be a supportive companion who focuses on bringing the conversation back to change, and on listening to the person rather than the problem.The first step is discovering who the client is (the present self) and facilitating them in looking at who they are when their problem owns them, beginning to engage the habit mind. The key here is developing a discrepancy with who/ where an individual is now compared to who/ where they want to be, which brings you to the second step - discovering who the client wants to be (desired future self). Here, it is important to focus on keeping statements positive: on 'be this' rather than 'don't be that'. This is an important stage in giving the mind the right information for change to happen and recognising the barriers that might get in the way of your future self:'How dare you ask me to change, you don't know what I've been through.'Spending time on feelings of ambivalence is necessary here as it is common for uncertainty to cause fluctuation through a range of emotions, including fear, anger, grief, guilt, shame and helplessness, leading to internal power struggles. …