Romantic Relationship Initiation Research Articles

Social benefits of humility: Initiating and maintaining romantic relationships

Previous research has highlighted the social nature of humility. In three studies, we provide evidence that humility facilitates the initiation and maintenance of romantic relationships. In Study 1, very humble potential dating partners, relative to less humble partners, were rated more favorably and were more likely to elicit intentions to initiate a romantic relationship. Study 2 was a conceptual replication of Study 1 that provided evidence that participants find humble potential dating partners more attractive than arrogant dating partners. In Study 3, we examined perceptions of humility in participants in proximal or long-distance relationships. We found that humility buffers against unforgiveness in long-distant relationships. Although long-distance relationships were associated with greater unforgiveness, this effect was only present when partners were viewed as having low humility. Together, these findings highlight the social benefits of humility in initiating and maintaining romantic relationships.

The Bold and the Bashful

Successful romantic relationship initiation often requires bold and direct action, but direct action can increase the possibility of rejection. These dual possible outcomes create interpersonal risk, which should prompt self-esteem differences in behavior. When risk is present, lower self-esteem individuals, who prefer to avoid social costs, will be less likely to use direct initiation behaviors than higher self-esteem individuals, who prefer to approach social rewards. However, eliminate social risk and these self-esteem differences in behavior will be similarly eliminated. Furthermore, reflecting gender-role prescriptions, we expected these effects to be evident among men, but not women. We test these hypotheses in a naturalistic study assessing retrospective behavioral reports and in a controlled laboratory experiment using behavioral coding to assess actual initiation behavior. Results were consistent with our hypotheses, revealing that gender moderated the links between self-esteem, risk, and initiation behavior in a manner consistent with gender roles.

The initiation and progression of late-life romantic relationships

This research explores the initiation and progression of new late-life romantic relationships among older Australians (60 years plus). Our research found that older adult romantic relationships were meaningful, important and sexually intimate. However, few led to cohabitation or marriage, with these older adults preferring to date or to maintain separate households (living-apart-together, LAT). In line with Giddens’ ideal of ‘pure’ relationships, our research indicates that older adults are looking for egalitarian relationships based on emotional and sexual equality, albeit not necessarily based on cohabitation or monogamy.

When and why do ideal partner preferences affect the process of initiating and maintaining romantic relationships?

Three studies explored how the traits that people ideally desire in a romantic partner, or ideal partner preferences, intersect with the process of romantic relationship initiation and maintenance. Two attraction experiments in the laboratory found that, when participants evaluated a potential romantic partner's written profile, they expressed more romantic interest in a partner whose traits were manipulated to match (vs. mismatch) their idiosyncratic ideals. However, after a live interaction with the partner, the match vs. mismatch manipulation was no longer associated with romantic interest. This pattern appeared to have emerged because participants reinterpreted the meaning of the traits as they applied to the partner, a context effect predicted by classic models of person perception (S. E. Asch, 1946). Finally, a longitudinal study of middle-aged adults demonstrated that participants evaluated a current romantic partner (but not a partner who was merely desired) more positively to the extent that the partner matched their overall pattern of ideals across several traits; the match in level of ideals (i.e., high vs. low ratings) was not relevant to participants' evaluations. In general, the match between ideals and a partner's traits may predict relational outcomes when participants are learning about a partner in the abstract and when they are actually in a relationship with the partner, but not when considering potential dating partners they have met in person.

Is Love Colorblind? Political Orientation and Interracial Romantic Desire

The present research examined the association of political orientation with ingroup favoritism in two live romantic contexts. In Study 1, White participants had sequential interactions with both a White and Black confederate and reported their romantic desire for each. In Study 2, both White and Black participants speed-dated multiple potential romantic partners and reported whether they would be interested in meeting each speed-dating partner again. In both studies, White participants' political conservatism positively predicted the strength of the ingroup-favoring bias: White conservatives were less likely than White liberals to desire Black (interracial) relative to White potential romantic partners. In contrast, Black participants' political conservatism negatively predicted the strength of the ingroup-favoring bias: Consistent with system-justification theory, Black conservatives were more likely than Black liberals to desire White (interracial) relative to Black potential romantic partners. Political orientation may be a key factor that influences the initiation of interracial romantic relationships.

A prospective study of intraindividual and peer influences on adolescents' heterosexual romantic and sexual behavior.

Theories and empirical studies of adolescent sexual behavior have identified the contributions of personal attributes and social experiences; however, it is rare that models have clarified developmental pathways to adolescent sexual behavior that include (1) factors assessed prior to and early in adolescence and (2) dyadic experiences in adolescence that provide the opportunity for sexual behavior (i.e., dating). Using data from a prospective study, structural equation modeling was used to test a model predicting adolescent sexual behavior at age 19, denoted by the number of lifetime sexual partners. Predictors examined were sociability and impulsivity assessed at 30 months of age, physical characteristics and experiences with peers measured at age 12-13, the age of first romantic relationship, and frequency of alcohol use at age 16. The pathway to greater sexual involvement was marked by some desired personal attributes (e.g., sociability) and peer experiences (e.g., higher quality friendships). These associations were mediated, however, by earlier initiation of romantic relationships and more frequent use of alcohol in middle adolescence. Earlier initiation of romantic relationships and more frequent alcohol use were predicted by greater sociability and less impulsivity in childhood, higher quality friendships and greater peer acceptance in early adolescence, and a more mature appearance and physical attractiveness (among females) at age 13. The findings imply a complex pathway that leads to a greater accumulation of sexual partners by age 19. This pathway begins in childhood and includes individual qualities, peer acceptance, romantic relationships, and alcohol use.

Stability, Change and Individual Differences in Involvement with Friends and Romantic Partners Among Adolescent Females

The initiation of romantic relationships is a normative developmental task among female adolescents. Friendships with other females may change as part of this task. Using structured interviews, this study collected data from 102 white females (ages 17 to 19) about their history of close peer relationships during high school. Trajectories of involvement (time spent) with close peers were examined using individual growth modeling. Females who increased time with romantic partners more rapidly also decreased time with friends more rapidly. Although most spent more time with partners than with friends at some time, the timing of this change and patterns of involvement with close peers varied. One-fourth of females spent more time with partners than with friends early in high school, but spent less time with friends than others did. Another one-half spent more time with partners than with friends later in high school, gradually increasing time with partners and reducing time with friends. Other females never spent more time with partners than with friends, and maintained high involvement with friends and little involvement with partners.

Strategic Behaviors in Romantic Relationship Initiation

Two studies were conducted to examine the strategies used to initiate romantic relationships. In Study 1, participants responded to questions about general romantic relationship initiation strategies derived from the literature. In Study 2, participants wrote narrative accounts of their romantic relationship initiation experiences, which were coded for relationship goals and initiation strategies. The effect of biological sex on the evaluation and use of relationship initiation strategies was assessed in both studies. Overall, the normative pattern of goals and strategies prominently included love and intimacy goals and direct and emotional-disclosure strategies. Men tended to be more active and direct in the beginning stages of relational development and to be more interested than women in the goal of sexual intimacy; women used passive and indirect strategies more often than men. Results are discussed in terms of Buss and Schmitt’s sexual strategies theory and Reis and Shaver’s model of interpersonal intimacy.

Marital Success and Domains of Social Support in Long-Term Relationships: Does the Influence of Network Members Ever End?

This study examines the association between various domains of social network support and the long-term marital success of husbands and wives who had been married for an average of 20 years. We hypothesized that three domains of social network support (e.g., support related specifically to the relationship, affective overlap, and general personal support) would predict marital success. Overall, the findings suggest that social networks are influential in long-term marital relationships. For both husbands and wives, relationship-specific support predicted positive change in marital success from 1991 to 1994. Neither affective overlap nor personal support predicted marital success. This study underscores the significance of different domains of social support in long-term romantic relationships, the role of social support in predicting marital success, and the role of marital success in predicting social support. Couples function within social contexts, vulnerable to the influences and pressures of members of their social networks (Boissevain, 1974; Lewis, 1973; Milardo & Lewis, 1985; Ridley & Avery, 1979). Because of their importance for each spouse, these social influences can affect the quality and course of marital relationships. This study examines the connection between the influence of social networks and marital success among people in longterm marriages. Most previous research examines this connection using cross-sectional data or longitudinal data in which time intervals are just months apart; samples of dating partners or samples in which many of the spouses are in their early years of marriage; samples in which only one of the partners, rather than the couple, is in the relationship under study; or samples of college students. In contrast, the study presented here is longitudinal. It covers 3 years, focuses on long-term (1437 years) married couples, gathers data from both spouses rather than just one partner, and uses a sample recruited from the community at large. Before considering the association between marital relations and the broader social context, however, it is worthwhile to review the defining characteristics of social networks used in this report. A social network is a collection of people known by an individual. A psychological network is a specific type of social network composed of people in whom an individual is most likely to confide or place trust, and it typically includes parents, in-laws, other kin, and close friends. These are people who can alter an individual's definition of self by communicating their thoughts and ideas about the individual's actions to him or her. Those thoughts and ideas can influence the initiation, maintenance, and dissolution of romantic relationships (Surra, 1988). Two primary models have been proposed to account for the influence that networks exert on romantic relationships-the support model and the interference model (Milardo & Lewis, 1985). The support model asserts that network members help couples build feelings of satisfaction with their partners by validating their relationships (e.g., commenting about how nice a pair the couple makes), nurturing a sense of coupleness by inviting the pair to social events as a couple (Lewis, 1973), and asserting that the couple can work through their problems by offering the pair aid when problems arise (Julien, Markman, Leveille, Chartrand, & Begin, 1994; Milardo, 1983; Milardo & Lewis, 1985). In contrast, the interference model asserts that network members contribute to the breakdown of dyadic unions by fostering partners' feelings of dissatisfaction with their relationships. These models are hypothesized to function through the mechanisms of uncertainty reduction, social comparison, social sanctions, resocialization, and self-regulation. Although most research considers how these processes work in dating relationships (Bates, 1942; Parks & Adelman, 1983; Surra & Milardo, 1991; Sussman, 1953; Titus, 1980), there is reason to believe that the processes also operate in marriages. …

Implicit theories of relationships: Assessment and prediction of romantic relationship initiation, coping, and longevity.

Belief in romantic destiny holds that potential relationship partners are either meant for each other or they are not. As hypothesized, a longitudinal study of romantic relationships revealed that the relation between initial satisfaction and relationship longevity was stronger for those who believe in romantic destiny. In addition, belief in destiny was associated with avoidance coping strategies in dealing with relationship stressors, and with taking more responsibility for ending the relationship. Belief in growth independently holds that successful relationships are cultivated and developed, and was associated with long-term approaches to dating, relationship-maintaining coping strategies and, once the relationship had ended, disagreeing that it seemed wrong from the beginning. Implications and future research avenues are discussed. Individuals have different beliefs about what makes for a good relationship (Fletcher & Kininmonth, 1992; Fletcher & Thomas, 1996). Indeed, the area of social cognition in close relationships continues to thrive, and relationship beliefs and knowledge structures have become a major focus (Berscheid, 1994; Fletcher & Fincham, 1991; Fletcher & Fitness, 1993). In addition, researchers are continually being urged to consider more fully the impact of cognition on relationships , and vice versa (Baldwin, 1992; Fiske, 1992; Ickes & Gonzales, 1996; Kenny, 1994; Reis & Knee, 1996; Schneider, 1991). One type of knowledge structure that has garnered much attention in the achievement and social judgment literatures, but no attention from relationship researchers, is the construct of implicit theories (Dweck, 1996; Dweck, Chiu, & Hong, 1995; Dweck, Hong, & Chiu, 1993). Implicit theories distinguish between the belief that attributes are fixed (or destined) and the belief that attributes are developed (or grown). These implicit theories can take on fascinating meaning when applied to relationships in that one can believe that relationships are destined and that relationships are characterized by growth. The present research examined how destiny and growth beliefs influence the initiation, coping, and longevity of romantic relationships.

Implicit theories of relationships: Assessment and prediction of romantic relationship initiation, coping, and longevity.

Implicit theories of relationships: Assessment and prediction of romantic relationship initiation, coping, and longevity.

Orientations toward personnel selection: Differential reliance on appearance and personality.

In two studies we examined the hypothesis that the psychological construct of self-monitoring would identify people who adopt distinctly different strategies in personnel selection. In both experiments, undergraduates examined information about the physical appearance and personalities of two applicants for a specific job and then decided which applicant should receive a job offer. In Study 1 information about the applicants' physical attractiveness and job-appropriate dispositions was varied. In Study 2 job appropriateness of the applicants' physical appearance and of their personalities were both varied. In each study, high self-monitoring individuals placed greater weight on information about physical appearance than did low self-monitoring individuals. By contrast, low self-monitoring individuals put greater weight on information about personal dispositions than did high selfmonitoring individuals. We discuss the implications for understanding personnel selection as well as for decision making in interpersonal contexts. Some of the most important and consequential decisions in people's lives are made by other people. Who to befriend or avoid, marry or divorce, acquit or convict, hire or fire are all decisions about others with potentially significant consequences. A natural concern, therefore, is how these decisions are made. Recent research strongly suggests that people adopt systematically different approaches to gathering, weighing, and acting on information about other people when initiating personal relationships. At least one set of differing orientations may be identified with stable differences between individuals in their self-monitoring propensities (Glick, 1985; Omoto, DeBono, & Snyder, 1987; Snyder, Berscheid, & Glick, 1985). These investigations on the initiation of romantic relationships were guided by the psychological construct of self-monitoring (see Snyder, 1979, 1987). High self-monitoring individuals typically strive to be the type of person called for by each situation in which they find themselves and thus are particularly sensitive and responsive to interpersonal and situational specifications of behavioral appropriateness; they use this information to monitor and control the images of self that they project to others in social situations. As investigations on the initiation of personal relationships indicate, high self-monitoring individuals also appear to carry this concern with their own public appearances to a concern with the images conveyed by people with whom they may be