I have had wonderful experiences with families who have let me into their homes during various study abroad programs. The experiences immersed me in the local culture, helped me learn the language, gave me surrogate families I felt totally comfortable conversing with, gave me new siblings/friends, opened my mind to cultural differences and provided a practical experience for my anthropological studies. I benefitted from the homestays, but I have wondered what it was like for the families. Was it an equal exchange? Did they benefit from the experience? I like to think they did. I remember fondly the hours I spent cooking with my Indonesian host mother and sister, the times I spoke with my host father about Judaism and Islam. But then I wonder, what happened after our group left? Were there fights in the village between the few who hosted students and the rest who didn't? Was I an inconvenience in the family because I never knew how to do anything and caused more work for my sister? I was totally inept at pulling up water from the well to wash my clothes, I could not help cook because grinding the chili peppers burned my hands and I had never cooked on an open fire stove before. My host sister and mother ended up helping a lot with my basic needs. This must have taken time away from their regular work. We all cried saying goodbye after four months living together and I promised to write and come back and visit one day. I did write, for a few years, but now I hardly even remember Indonesian and I lost their address. I dream of going back, but when?
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