We introduce an energy stable, high-order-accurate finite difference approximation of the dynamic, pure bending Kirchhoff plate equations for complex geometries and spatially variable properties. We utilize the summation-by-parts (SBP) framework to discretize the biharmonic operator with variable coefficients, with attention given to free and clamped boundary conditions and corner conditions. Energy conservation is established by combining SBP boundary closures with weak enforcement of the boundary and interface conditions using a penalty (simultaneous approximation term, SAT) technique. Then we couple the plate equations to the shallow water equations to study flexural-gravity wave propagation, and prove that the semi-discrete system of equations is self-adjoint. We demonstrate the stability and accuracy properties of the method on curvilinear multiblock grids using the method of manufactured solutions. The method, which we provide in an open-source code, is then used to model ocean wave interactions with the Thwaites Glacier and Pine Island Ice Shelf in the Amundsen Sea off the coast of West Antarctica.