ABSTRACT The stigma surrounding men’s sexuality in Early Childhood Education (ECE) is complex and part of a sexuality hierarchy within which homophobic, emasculating and disparaging undertones are often used to label male teachers in ECE as gay. In this paper the authors demonstrate the complex and gendered ways in which this stigma unfolds in a South African context and offer a decolonising gender perspective to highlight how the country’s socio-political context impacts on how parents respond to gay men in ECE. The parents in this study expressed tolerance and acceptance of gay men’s involvement in ECE. Notwithstanding, these diverse views, many parents’ tolerance and acceptance of gay men in ECE was found to be powerfully structured along a discriminatory heterosexist culture. Despite this, some parent’s acceptance of gay male teachers in ECE were underpinned by gender-progressive attitudes to focus on curtailing gender discrimination and promoting gender diversity and inclusivity at school.