ABSTRACTRespect in morally and culturally critical situations during military missions is complex and loaded with ambiguity. Respect seems a desirable and positive cross-cultural competence. It is assumed and expected that respectful action serves the objectives of the mission and contributes to the perceived legitimacy of the military. However, by respecting ‘the others’ culture’ too much, one can neglect one's own values and sideline one's own ethical point of view. We conducted a qualitative study in which we extracted 121 morally and culturally critical situations from 29 in-depth interviews with Dutch soldiers who have been deployed to, for them, unfamiliar cultural settings. The findings of this study reveal, firstly, that soldiers who refer to ‘culture’ as a reason for their own behaviour in morally and culturally critical situations encountered during deployments are less likely to intervene even though these situations conflict with their own values. This could be considered to be a sort of ethical relativism that might result in ‘moral incapacity’, i.e., not acting when they think they ought to. Secondly, when servicemen describe their actions as respectful, they are more likely to act in agreement with ‘the others’ culture’.