Alarming rates of water contamination by toxic herbicides have prompted the need and attention for easy, efficient, and affordable treatment options with a touch of circular economy aspects. This study valorized date palm leaf (DPL) wastes into a valuable adsorbent for remediating agricultural wastewater polluted with 2,4-Dichlorophenoxyacetic acid (2,4-DPA) herbicide. The DPL precursor was modified with H2SO4 treatment and both biomass samples were characterized by various analytical techniques. Acid treatment modified the morphology, thermal, and textural properties of the final product (TDPL) while maintaining the structure and surface chemistry intact. Simulated wastewaters containing 2,4-DPA were subsequently treated using TDPL as an adsorbent. Optimum adsorption conditions of pH 2, dosage 0.95 g/L, shaking speed 200 rpm, time 120 min, and temperature 30 °C showed a good herbicide removal efficiency in the range of 55.1–72.6% for different initial feed concentrations (50–250 mg/L). Experimental kinetic data were better represented by the pseudo-second-order model, while the Freundlich isotherm was reliable in describing the equilibrium behavior of the adsorption system. Further, the thermodynamic analysis revealed that the adsorption occurred spontaneously, favorably, and exothermically. Plausible sorption mechanism involved electrostatic interactions, weak van der Waals forces, hydrogen bonds, and π-π interactions between the participating phases. Conspicuously, TDPL application to real-world situations of treating actual herbicide-polluted agricultural runoff resulted in a 69.4% remediation efficiency. Thus, the study demonstrated the valorization of date palm leaves into a valuable and industry-ready adsorbent that can sequester toxic 2,4-DPA herbicide contaminant from aqueous streams.