As Submitted To a Journal of Medicine, and: Deficit(s) Dan Brown (bio) AS SUBMITTED TO A JOURNAL OF MEDICINE 1. When my great-uncle Leon delivered me,he was only doingwhat he did for a living. If my mother is to be believed(and while “other minds” are famously unknowable,I don’t see why she would lie about this),Leon performedthe inaugural slap, regarded my performance,and gave me my first review:“This is an allergic child.” 2. Only after hearingthe results of my scratch testdid I start to notice those feathery stalks the grass at camp sent upeach summer. The thought of the airmilling with all that seed. . . . Leave it to a city kidto fail to grasp the realenormity: that the air was already rife with what had told the grass to seed;blizzard enoughto visit every blade. [End Page 413] 3. I believe it was Larkin who saidthat having sex with anotheris like having someone help you blow your nose: a comparison that suggests, among other things,how intimate a businessblowing your nose is. As in those old movies, then,the ones where they lower the shadeson lovers, let the door of the bunk bang shut on my histaminic particulars:nothing to perceive but the chitter of crickets,an occasional honk. . . . 4. Though once I’d managed, as I somehow didthose miserable nights, the doffing of consciousness,things eased considerably. Or so I inferredfrom reveille’s tending to find me breathing free:as though with sleep had come some endocrine infusionthat held the troubles off.Smirk if you like, researchers, but never sayI haven’t passed you a ballto run with as you will. [End Page 414] DEFICIT(S) It was late in life as revelations goWhen I happened on a datum new to me:A key could have, for some, a “quality.”Some listeners (a few) could come to knowB minor, say, as “bleak”; E major, “bright”;A major, “warm” . . . Who ever would have guessedAn art could harbor colorations lostOn most . . . Make that on me. A deficit,No doubt—with which I’d call myself okay.Isn’t music more than jewel enoughWithout another facet? If my lifeHas disappointed me in any wayWorth mentioning, it hasn’t been in termsOf tones, God knows. (Just ask my empty arms.) [End Page 415] Dan Brown DANIEL BROWN’s poetry collections are Taking the Occasion (winner of the New Criterion Poetry Prize), What More?, and (in manuscript) Poems with Subjects. His literary-critical book Subjects in Poetry will be published this fall by LSU Press. Copyright © 2021 Dan Brown