This paper delves into the documentary Madame, examining the intricate emotional narrative of Qihui Fan within the Chinese cultural framework using Sara Ahmed’s Cultural Politics of Emotion. By analyzing Fan’s experiences, encompassing childhood strife, youth prostitution, and grappling with a sense of nothingness in middle age, the exploration delves into his emotional journey and the construction of his queer identity. Employing Ahmed’s framework, it dissects how emotions, notably pain and pleasure, interplay within Fan’s narrative. Through resisting societal norms and embracing a persona—madame “BILAN DE LINPHEL,” Fan navigates pleasure as a form of rebellion against heteronormativity. However, this pleasure is fleeting, entangled in a cycle of despair, as his narrative oscillates between self-empowerment and trauma-driven despair. The analysis uncovers Fan’s struggle for recognition in a society with limited tolerance for queer identities. It scrutinizes the performance of emotions, the role of pleasure in resistance, and the narrative’s performative nature. Ultimately, this examination unravels the complex interplay of emotions, societal control, and identity struggles within the context of Chinese queer culture, shedding light on the challenges and nuances faced by individuals like Fan.