In order to design the microstructure of metamaterials showing high toughness in extension (property to be shared with muscles), it has been recently proposed (Dell’Isola et al. in Z Angew Math Phys 66(6):3473–3498, 2015) to consider pantographic structures. It is possible to model such structures at a suitably small length scale (resolving in detail the interconnecting pivots/cylinders) using a standard Cauchy first gradient theory. However, the computational costs for such modelling choice are not allowing for the study of more complex mechanical systems including for instance many pantographic substructures. The microscopic model considered here is a quadratic isotropic Saint-Venant first gradient continuum including geometric nonlinearities and characterized by two Lame parameters. The introduced macroscopic two-dimensional model for pantographic sheets is characterized by a deformation energy quadratic both in the first and second gradient of placement. However, as underlined in Dell’Isola et al. (Proc R Soc Lond A 472(2185):20150790, 2016), it is needed that the second gradient stiffness depends on the first gradient of placement if large deformations and large displacements configurations must be described. The numerical identification procedure presented in this paper consists in fitting the macro-constitutive parameters using several numerical simulations performed with the micro-model. The parameters obtained by the best fit identification in few deformation problems fit very well also in many others, showing that the reduced proposed model is suitable to get an effective model at relevantly lower computational effort. The presented numerical evidences suggest that a rigorous mathematical homogenization result most likely holds.