Coming-out Process Research Articles

Parental Reactions to Their Child's Disclosure of a Gay/Lesbian Identity

Parental Reactions to Their Child's Disclosure of a Gay/Lesbian Identity* Ritch C. Savin-Williams** and Eric M. Dube Popular culture writers have proposed a developmental sequence of stages that parents face upon first learning of their child's homosexuality. Empirical investigations of these purported and loss stages are few and generally cast doubt on the inevitability and normative sequencing of parental reactions. We present this empirical evidence, suggest a research agenda, and discuss the implications of the research findings for mental health caregivers and practitioners. Key Words: adolescence, homosexuality, parent-child relationships, parent development. Personal narratives, popular advice-giving tracts, and self- books composed by and for parents often present the act of disclosure by youths of their gay/lesbian identity as necessarily creating a crisis within the family. This literature promotes the view that as a result of this disclosure, irrevocable damage is done to the child-parent relationship. MacDonald (1983) noted that healthy family relationships under such circumstances are uncommon and that trauma must necessarily beset families with a sexual-minority youth. When youths disclose their sexual orientation a type of parent coming-out process is initiated whereby parents are given the opportunity to restructure expectations and goals for the future life course of their children (Boxer, Cook, & Herdt, 1991, p. 86; see also Coleman & Remafedi, 1989). Once confronted with the reality of their child's sexual orientation, parents have been described by mental health professionals as reacting with symptoms of grief and mourning, progressing through a series of stages similar to those described by Kubler-Ross (1969) after the shock of discovering one's own impending death: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Although this view is a very popular conceptualization of parental reactions, used by parent support groups to help parents understand their feelings, little empirical research has been conducted that directly bears on these mourning stages. In previous publications, developmental issues confronting sexual-minority youths in terms of deciding whether, when, how, and why to disclose to parents (Savin-Williams, in press a; Savin-Williams & Diamond, in press) and the parent-youth relationship (Savin-Williams, in press b) are reviewed. In this article the focus is redirected from youths and placed onto parents. First, attention is given to the purported developmental stages that characterize parental reactions to the disclosure news. Second, empirical research that addresses these stages is then reviewed. We conclude with a discussion on future research needs regarding the youth-parent relationship, both before and after disclosure, and implications for those who care for the mental health of heterosexual parents with gay children.1 A Developmental Model of Parental Reactions Although parents often react in a less than ideal fashion after learning of their child's same-sex attractions, limited research indicates that most eventually arrive at tolerance or acceptance of their son's or daughter's sexual orientation. This process is not an easy one and a period of uncertainty, disruption, and, in more tempestuous cases, chaos is often created within the family. Various writers have proposed paradigms by which parents evolve through a series of stages from initial shock to eventual acceptance of their child; many of these share considerable overlap in structure and content (Anderson, 1987; Bernstein, 1990; Borhek, 1993; Bozett & Sussman, 1989; Brown, 1988; DeVine, 1984; Martin, 1982; Myers, 1982; Pearlman, 1992; Robinson, Walters, & Steen, 1989; Strommen, 1989; Tremble, Schneider, & Appathurai, 1989; Wirth, 1978). These proposed models follow the delineation of stages originally proposed by Kubler-Ross (1969) that characterize individuals facing imminent death. …

Career Development of Lesbian and Gay Youth

Despite a rapidly growing literature on issues confronting lesbian and gay adolescents in today's society, little has been written about the effects of lesbian/gay identity development, the coming-out process, and homophobia on the career development of lesbian and gay youth. This article first examines normal adolescent career development. Then, it describes the factors that impinge on the identity and career development of lesbian and gay adolescents, most notably the process of coming out to self and dealing with the homophobia of others. Next, it theorizes about the impact of sexual identity development, coming out, and homophobia on lesbian and gay adolescent career exploration and choice. Finally, recommendations for school practice (teaching, guidance, and counseling) and policy are made.

Sappho was a right-on adolescent.

Abstract Beginning with the interaction between the coming-out process and adolescent development, this paper explores the young lesbian experience. The words and perceptions of over 20 young lesbians are used to depict the experience from their own points of view.

Impact of Identity Development upon Career Trajectory: Listening to the Voices of Lesbian Women

Ten lesbian women ranging in age from 30–45 were interviewed about their recollections of forming a lesbian identity and its effects on their career trajectory. Interview questions focused on four major areas: the timing and quality of their coming-out process, whether their lesbian identity development helped or hindered their career development process, the effects of external and internalized homophobia on their careers, and finally whether their associations with a lesbian community helped or hindered their career development. Qualitative analyses of the interview data resulted in multiple themes being identified for each of the above set of questions. Results suggest that lesbian women do recycle through a “second adolescence” in the process of coming out and coming to terms with a lesbian identity. The results also suggest that this time period in which lesbian women consolidate a lesbian identity is personally demanding and does delay, disrupt, and in some cases seriously derail the career development process. Participants reported some job or career benefits gained from their association with other lesbian women. Finally, recommendations for future research and practice are offered that focus on reconceptualizing this second, adolescent-type developmental phase as a normative and positive phase of personal and professional identity development for lesbian women.

Factors Influencing Lesbians' Direct Disclosure of Their Sexual Orientation

The major purpose of this study was to investigate premises regarding self-disclosure as proposed in theories of homosexual development while gathering baseline empirical data on the coming-out process. Several variables that theoretically influence coming-out, such as, persons to whom a lesbian has self-disclosed, in what order she has chosen to do this, how her internalized homophobia has influenced her behavior and how her coming-out behavior is related to level of sexual identity development, were investigated. Participants were volunteers responding to advertisements (N = 407, 64% return rate). The sample was a diverse group, with no all respondents labeling themselves lesbian. Age of coming-out to themselves ranged from 3 to 63 years; coming-out to another, age 7 to 63; coming-out to another after coming-out to herself, less than one year to 33 years. After coming-out to themselves, respondents tended to come-out to other lesbians next. Despite the theoretical premise that coming-out to family is the most difficult, there was not specific pattern to indicate the respondents came-out to family last or to siblings before parents. Respondents with higher levels of homophobia tended to come-out to fewer groups of people, but their general predisposition to disclose was not related to coming-out behavior. Women at later stages of identity formation has come-out to more groups of people.

Coming out and AIDS-related high-risk sexual behavior

How the withdrawal of social support associated with the coming out of gay men influences AIDS-related sexual risk-taking among Flemish (Belgian) gay men is analyzed. Recruited via key persons, the 379 gay men in this nonclinical cohort completed a lengthy, computerized questionnaire dealing with diverse aspects of gay life and culture. Independent variables include demographic characteristics, AIDS knowledge, coming-out histories, six social support dimensions, and personal resources. The dependent variables were insertive and receptive anal intercourse with and without a condom. Stepwise regression explained, respectively, 41.2, 38.4, 18.4, and 14.2% of the variance. Absence of appraisal (the view that others approve of the way one does things or feels about things) led to higher frequencies of insertive anal sex (both with and without a condom). The experience of emotional conflict lowered the use of condoms by the insertive partner in anal intercourse. Disapproval by significant others of being gay also led to higher levels of receptive anal intercourse without a condom. Subjects with a high belief in mastery had higher frequencies of risk-taking, suggesting that the combination of the experience of negative reactions and high mastery lead to greater involvement in risky sexual behavior. Findings are interpreted within the theoretical framework of the coming-out process and gay identity formation.

Developing Services for Lesbian and Gay Adolescents

The needs of lesbian and gay adolescents for service provision are discussed in this paper. These needs are identified through research investigating milestones in the coming-out process. In addition, the way in which the research results influenced community development initiatives is described. The social context in which the research was conducted is also described.

The Coming-Out Process for Homosexuals

Coming out is a core developmental process for homosexual persons that spans many years. It usually begins in childhood with feelings of being different and progresses through various stages, including acknowledgment of homosexuality, disclosure to others, acceptance of a homosexual identity, experimentation and exploration, and intimacy. Ideally, the process ends in consolidation, a stage in which homosexuals no longer view themselves primarily in terms of sexual orientation. The author describes the various stages of the coming-out process and discusses the clinical implications for therapy with homosexual patients.

Depression Among Lesbians:

Despite the research emphasis on depression among women, there has been virtually no focus on depression among lesbians. This article reviews evidence for factors that might place lesbians at increased risk for depression as well as factors that would protect lesbians for depression. Additionally, it dicesses the research on suicide attempts, alcoholism, and phyical and sexual abuse of lesbians, all disorders related to depression. Homophobia, the comingout process, and the lesbian community are presented as issues not faced by heterosexual women. Depression among lesbians who are non-white, not middle class, and not young adults is discussed. Finally, the article presents evidence for the role of therapist and self-help groups in affecting depression rates among lesbians.

AIDS and chemical dependency: special issues and treatment barriers for gay and bisexual men.

Because gay and bisexual men continue to be the largest at-risk group for human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) related conditions, the special role of substance abuse, and not just intravenous drug abuse, must be understood in order to provide adequate services and prevention. Gay men and women appear to have a higher incidence of substance abuse than the general population. Genetic, biochemical, societal, and cultural factors may all contribute to this increase, especially the overwhelming impact of societal homophobia. To address the treatment barriers to gay and bisexual men seeking or needing treatment for HIV-related conditions, chemical dependence or both, the gay community should be seen like any other minority community. The social and cultural norms of this widely varied community should be studied: the socialization of being gay in mainstream society, including the awareness of being different; the coming-out process; and dealing with internalized homophobia need to be understood. In addition, the resistance or anxiety health care providers may feel in working with gay or bisexual men or with HIV-related conditions should be addressed.

Sappho was a right-on adolescent: growing up lesbian.

Beginning with the interaction between the coming-out process and adolescent development, this paper explores the young lesbian experience. The words and perceptions of over 20 young lesbians are used to depict the experience from their own points of view.