AbstractUsing qualitative interviews with survivors and activists against sexual violence in the Catholic Church in Switzerland, this article suggests that the expression “saying no” or the idea of “refusal” frames discussions regarding child sexual abuse with detrimental consequences. This discourse is sometimes linked to a restrictive understanding of sexual consent and is applied to children in very asymmetrical relationships, who should be placed outside the scope of sexual consent. Particularly for men who have been sexually abused as children, this understanding of consent is referred to when speaking about sexual abuse. This asks questions about the gender norms influencing the discourse of consent and the challenges of understanding oneself as a victim of abuse. The article argues for a critical examination of the concept of consent and its connection to children and minors. It suggests that it is crucial, as many (feminist) scholars in different fields have argued, to abandon a negative standard of consent (saying no, resisting) in politics against sexual violence and instead focus on the capability to participate in and determine the sexual relationship.