We argue that the weak coupling regime of a large N gauge theory in the Higgs phase contains black hole-like objects. These so-called ``plasma puddles'' are meta-stable lumps of hot plasma lying in locally un-Higgsed regions of space. They decay via O(1/N) thermal radiation and, perhaps surprisingly, absorb all incident matter. We show that an incident particle of energy E striking the plasma puddle will shower into an enormous number of decay products whose multiplicity grows linearly with E, and whose average energy is independent of E. Once these ultra-soft particles reach the interior they are thermalized by the plasma within, and so the object appears ``black.'' We determine some gross properties like the size and temperature of the the plasma puddle in terms of fundamental parameters in the gauge theory. Interestingly, demanding that the plasma puddle emit thermal Hawking radiation implies that the object is black (i.e. absorbs all incident particles), which implies classical stability, which implies satisfaction of the Bekenstein entropy bound. Because of the AdS/CFT duality and the many similarities between plasma puddles and black holes, we conjecture that black objects are a robust feature of quantum gravity.