A large amount of research has been completed on the impact of abuse and neglect on children's brain development, attachment and behaviour (Malinosky-Rummell & Hansen, 1993, ‘Long-term consequences of childhood physical abuse’, Psychological Bulletin, vol. 114, pp. 68–79; Margolin & Gordis, 2000, ‘The effect of family and community violence on children’, Annual Review of Psychology, vol. 51, pp. 445–479; Perry, 2002, ‘Childhood experiences and the expression of genetic potential: what childhood neglect tells us about nature and nurture’, Brain and Mind, vol. 3, pp. 79–100; van der Kolk, 2005, ‘Developmental trauma disorder’, Psychiatric Annuals, vol. 35, no. 5, pp. 401–408). Research has also begun to address the impact on the professional's and carer's psychological well-being, as a result of working with children who have experienced abuse and neglect (Cunningham, 1999, ‘The impact of sexual abuse treatment on the social work clinician’, Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal, vol. 16, pp. 277–290; Trippany, Kress and Wilcoxon, 2004, ‘Preventing vicarious trauma: what counsellors should know when working with trauma survivors’, Journal of Counselling and Development, vol. 82, pp. 31–37; Conrad & Kellar-Guenther, 2006, ‘Compassion fatigue, burnout and compassion satisfaction among Colorado child protection workers’, Child Abuse and Neglect, vol. 30, pp. 1071–1080). Psycho-dynamic concepts such as projection and splitting have begun to be explored in how children who have experienced abuse communicate their experience to their carers and the professionals involved with them. Some authors (Dale et al., 1986, Dangerous Families: Assessment and Treatment of Child Abuse, Tavistock Publications, London) have also explored the impact of the psycho-dynamics on the treatment team and the ‘splitting’ that can occur among professionals involved with the child. This paper aims to extend this reflection to also consider the impact of the professional's attachment history, early childhood experiences and current personal relationships on the child and caregiver's systems. Therefore, concepts such as counter-transference and adult attachment styles within the therapeutic relationship are explored and examples provided from my own practice.