I show that massive-particle dynamics can be simulated by a weak, spherical, external perturbation on a potential flow in an ideal fluid. The effective Lagrangian is of the form mc^2L(U^2/c^2), where U is the velocity of the particle relative to the fluid and c the speed of sound. This can serve as a model for emergent relativistic inertia a la Mach's principle with m playing the role of inertial mass, and also of analog gravity where it is also the passive gravitational mass. m depends on the particle type and intrinsic structure, while L is universal: For D dimensional particles L is proportional to the hypergeometric function F(1,1/2;D/2;U^2/c^2). Particles fall in the same way in the analog gravitational field independent of their internal structure, thus satisfying the weak equivalence principle. For D less or equal 5 they all have a relativistic limit with the acquired energy and momentum diverging as U approaches c. For D less or equal 7 the null geodesics of the standard acoustic metric solve our equation of motion. Interestingly, for D=4 the dynamics is very nearly Lorentzian. The particles can be said to follow the geodesics of a generalized acoustic metric of a Finslerian type that shares the null geodesics with the standard acoustic metric. In vortex geometries, the ergosphere is automatically the static limit. As in the real world, in ``black hole'' geometries circular orbits do not exist below a certain radius that occurs outside the horizon. There is a natural definition of antiparticles; and I describe a mock particle vacuum in whose context one can discuss, e.g., particle Hawking radiation near event horizons.